If everything is your priority, nothing is your priority
Speaking from experience…and not a source of caffeine
This is not an advertisement for another ‘but coffee first’ meme. Real talk, where are my priorities? Have you
asked yourself that too?
The news of Regina King’s son, Ian Alexander, Jr’s passing (may he rest in eternal, sweet peace) hit me. I didn’t know her or him personally. I am a mother and my mother’s heart breaks for her. That was followed by the news of the tragic death of ‘Miss USA’…she has a name. It’s Cheslie Kryst. Again, I didn’t know her, but she looked familiar…kinda like Ian looked to me. What I saw in their images and their stories was not their celebrity status. It couldn’t have been because I did not know their names until these stories broke the internet. But daggone it, why did it take these stories for me to be okay with speaking about suicide prevention in my home and with my children. ‘Suicide’ is not a bad word. It’s a common word popularized in athletic warm-up exercises (or grueling punishment for some athletes). Hey, we’ve even warned co-workers to avoid ‘career suicide’ when they want to speak up at work. Ssssssooooooooo, who makes ‘suicide,’ the kind where someone intentionally end their own life, a priority to talk about long before its a thought in someone’s mind.
Lately, people seem more open about speaking about depression or depressive episodes. Are we open to sit and hear them out when they offer their ‘why’? I remember learning in college that using the word ‘suicide’ doesn’t plant the seed in someone’s mind to actually do it. I was so intrigued by the lack of real initiative to speak about suicide on my college campus and in the Church that I wrote a lengthy paper on ‘Suicide in the Christian Community’ to express my frustration, along with official survey results.
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Well, my survey happened in 1997 and it’s been brought back to my remembrance in the wake of the reports of death by suicide in January alone. Now, they were celebrities…imagine all of the instances of suicide that don’t get reported. It numbs my mind and gives me pause to set some new priorities.
Help is available
Speak with someone today
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours.
Languages: English, Spanish.
Learn more at 800–273–8255
When I was applying for a promotion to supervisor in my former life (now living that full-time Entrepreneur Life), a major test section was titled something like Time Management and Prioritization. The test was meant to demonstrate what I deemed important and urgent enough for my attention from a sample email inbox with numerous unread messages.
I scored well below average. The score indicated that I determined that everything was a priority…which just cannot be possible, huh? There was a disconnect in my emerging leadership style that was leading me straight to a constant state of emergency. It took a sign in a upper-level manager’s office that read, Your emergency is not my emergency, for me to understand that I could find importance in everything…and that everything could not be addressed in the same moment. Okay, so that’s when it comes to work, but what about real life and real people that are important and who matter to you…they still matter, right?
Enter a life lesson from Broadway… I can literally wait 4 minutes and 36 seconds for you to enjoy the song and come back to this article…
🎹No one deserves to disappear 🎼 all you need is for somebody to find you 🎙️because no one deserves to be forgotten.
Over the last week, I’ve initiated three ‘crucial conversations’ (learned that term in supervisor training). I straight up ate the elephant in the room and asked people that I love, ‘Are you okay?’ And these times, ‘I’m fine,’ was not a good enough answer. We dug deep. We gushed on each other. We cared and we shared confessions that we didn’t feel we could air earlier. We found each other in those conversations. We found that we mattered to one another more than words or actions had shown….especially since COVID has kept us apart for nearly two years. Words did not fail. We made each other the priority in those instances and, my God, I need that more often. I need to show that I care more often because people know I care until they no longer think I care.
Today, I encourage you to accept that people can walk around appearing to be fully functioning on all cylinders and still be truly away from themselves. Ask questions. ‘I’m fine’ is an easy response, but ask what ‘I’m fine’ means to that person in that moment. Show you care…that you give a damn. Give ’em your time and attention (right now, I’m preaching to myself).
Disconnect more often from things and connect more often to people. Create stories to share with your family and friends and see a future with you and them in it. Do the hard thing…ask the direct questions…care. The life you save may be your own.
If you hadn’t heard it before, you matter…and you always will. You are better than broken parts. You are a priority.
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Try it; if you love what you’ve read and just one clap won’t do, please clap it up.
Be blessed. Be encouraged. Please smile. You never know who needs it now.
A global Pep Squad calls me ‘The Small Business Cheerleader.’ I love people. Entrepreneurs have a special place in my heart.
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