Lets sit together tonight
I was hoping to see you, the girl said. At one point of her life she chased people and kept inviting to her life. Then it stopped. She has been content with herself and people can move into her life up to a point. Some says this is growth.
We were walking to the auditorium to listen a scientist. The room was filled with people who are sitting socially distanced. For a moment, I felt getting lost in the time and place and just watching her rather than listening. She has a very confident posture and beautiful language. She speaks in a way that you believe that she made all the right steps and decisions in her life. She had the courage to embrace all these kids with cancer. At the end of the speech, she burst into tears for less than a second. I wondered was it like a scream of herself devoting a life for others or scream of kids and families who voiced in her tears?
Tonight she is sitting in her couch, enjoying the long ceiling extending from the floor. She enjoys the softness of the colors, the candle rose odor and warm temperature. She enjoys being with herself and the feeling of enough. Acknowledges how much she came so far. Without touching the past or traveling in the future. She keeps the moments with her at a deserved degree of consciousness. Letting her brain soaked the waste and drain it to her dreams.
There is still one missing piece. The unwanted thought of leaving people, countries behind. She also knows that she is not alone. She will understand in the last breath actually she is the one moving and this changed everything but also nothing.