Light the Candle when there is Darkness
Why do people hesitate to help when help is really required?
Let’s check with these questions:
· Isn’t it important for friends to meet up when we sense one of us needs help?
· Why do we hesitate to visit people who are not in good health or in hospital and then rush when the person is dead?
· Why don’t family share a part of their savings when someone is in real need?
My take is — we should light the candle when darkness confronts — not when there is bright sunshine and light; help and be understanding when it’s most required. Sadly, most of us like to postpone, procrastinate or just ignore despite knowing the need and problem of our dear ones and friends.
Alright, the new adage is, “It’s okay to be selfish”! Well, there is no harm in that; but let us also be mindful of what we have got, which can help in being a candle to someone who needs it.
Sally Koch: “Great opportunities to help seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.”
Why do we wait for the person to ask; it is difficult for anyone to ask for help.
Ego gets in the way.
But often, during simple conversations we understand people’s journeys, their crossroads, their pitfalls and their needs.
Then why don’t we help?
Why do we choose to ignore?
We judge. We begin to analyze why a certain problem crept up, and convince ourselves that the person should have or should have not done such and such a thing!
Who are we to judge? Were we in that situation? So how do we know the details?
Do we look at other’s problems with the lens of ‘what’s in it for me’? Well, maybe. Also, we are quick to do an examination of the cost-benefits, what will I do if…and this process allows us to remain as bystanders, watching and waiting, and meanwhile, the person does not need our help and the candle anymore!
Let’s take the example of lending money, the questions usually that wreck our minds are:
· Will he/she make this a habit?
· Would they become dependent on me and then when I refuse, would relationships sour?
Many more questions — and believe me they are valid. But get out there and do it once and see how things pan out instead of over-thinking and staying as a spectator.
Stop evaluating simple things in life, don’t waste time magnifying every small think; go out there and challenge yourself and do a good turn.
Let’s throw caution to the wind sometimes and step up our ‘giving and helping’ habits — then experience the emotional boost and happiness that cannot be explained.
Chinese proverb: If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.