Over the Rainbow Bridge he goes…

Now if I could only get visiting hours

I’ll wait a sec…go ‘ head and grab a tissue if you’re a pet lover too

Dedicated to

Pharaoh Dean Hammond

(2010 — May 21, 2021)

Pardon me while I write a love letter to my doggie who is now in the great beyond, and forever in my heart. It’s been difficult for me to speak openly about his passing and this is me letting loose, letting go (half-hearted attempt), and making an effort to heal a heart damaged by this loss.

Dear Pharaoh,

Hey Bud, how are you? I miss you, bud. There is a massive lump growing in my throat as I hold back tears typing this. It feels like the same lump that grew while we watched ‘Seven Pounds,’ that Will Smith movie. Oh geez, I miss you. I look at this picture of you often…the last picture taken of you…on the way to the vet’s office.

So much has happened since you’ve gone away. Lena went off to college. Kenya and Kyson moved in. Na’Nee had three heart attacks; she’s much better now. COVID-19 numbers are growing again in Michigan. Now, there’s a new variant called Omicron. Kane said ‘Papi.’ Kyson said ‘Na’Nee.’ Nyra still doesn’t like Kane and she definitely recognizes that you’re not here when we dog-sit her. She still sheds hair like you did, except hers is more like Farrah Fawcett.

Ssssssssssssooooooooo, I was doing good masking my pain about you being gone until last week. Last week, we got new carpet. Before last week, I could still smell you in the hallways and in the family room. Your smell comforted me every now and then. Other times it just stunk. ManMan also painted those same spaces which means the walls had to be cleaned first. Before the new paint, even the walls kept your smell. Bud, we spent almost 11 years together in this house. The house is changing. The paint is fresh and bright. The carpet is gray and perfect to cushion Kyson and Kane’s little knees as they climb up and down the steps now. Your favorite spot on the stairwell landing is empty. I think of you every time I walk in the house, go up and down the steps, and pray at the door. I miss you running up to me before your legs and hips starting failing you. Now, I’d be happy just to see you eye gaze one more time.

For a long time after we left the vet’s office, I could be heard saying ‘no doggie’ when I’d pass by your favorite spots around the house. I say it less now, but my heart cries out for you every day. There are so many photos and videos of you on my phone. Literally, dog, I need storage space on my phone, but will not delete or move one image or video of you to get it. That’s love…do you know how valuable storage is on phones these days?

Bud, I remember your last breath like it was yesterday. As soon as we got back home, I pled with the family to promise to never ever ever get me another dog. I don’t want one. I want you. I don’t even want a stuffed animal toy. It’s just too painful. Honestly, your last breath was the sweetest, most gut-wrenching moment for Lena and I. None of us were ready to say goodbye; it was my decision. You were my dog and I just could not take seeing you in pain any longer. The vet told me in advance that your eyes wouldn’t close on their own. Do you know that it was me who closed them? You passed on so sweetly…way too swiftly…and so humanely.

A few days afterward, the vet’s office sent a copy of the Rainbow Bridge poem:

I cried reading it. Tears still well up when I read it. Now, though, I know to share it with others who miss their pet-friends. I’m not certain if we were more friends or more like family. What we had was special. It’s snowing now, Pharaoh, and I’m so glad that you don’t have to experience winter anymore. I think you have eternal summers. Good boy.

Everybody misses you…mostly me, though. ‘Member how ManMan would always say that you were my dog? True words; I was the last one to realize it, though. I wish we would’ve had more special moments together…taken more pictures…chased more squirrels. These squirrels are insane now. And Pharaoh, the deer keep multiplying. Kenya and Kyson finally saw this group of 7 deer laying in the backyard. ManMan didn’t chase them away last time. The girl doggies next door miss you…I haven’t spoken to them, petted them or said anything to Ms. Karen since you passed on; I cannot bring myself to speak your name just yet. I told Ms. Kara, though; she always loved you. So, D, we’re 6 months in and it’s no easier today than it was on May 21st. Elena keeps your collar on her dresser. I’ve been able to avoid looking at it because I keep her bedroom door closed while she’s away in college — she’s home for Thanksgiving and I saw your collar for the first time in months on Thanksgiving Day. The carpet, the paint, your collar…I can’t.

One thing’s for certain — you deserve sweet peace and I pray that you’ve found it. I really believe that all dogs go to heaven. I wish you’d visit me in my dreams; that hasn’t happened yet. So, I’ll do my best to wait…like the poem says…for you to spot me. I’m not in a rush, Pharaoh. There’s so much more that I’d love to see happen before I scoop you up at the Rainbow Bridge. Until then, bud, keep playing. Your leg is not broken there. Keep rolling in the grass. I bet you don’t have allergies there. I don’t like dog kisses, remember that when we reunite… but know that I will gladly accept yours on that great day.

Love you always,

Your Tisha

The record should reflect that I have a reputation for community building and I can generally appreciate this push toward Medium Membership that we are in the throws of.

As of this writing, I have 92 followers. Thank you. I’m asking for your follow. I’m pretty great at following back. Most of my writings are spirited and uplifting, until they are not…hey I’m human too.

One of the nicknames that I can share publicly is ‘The Small Business Cheerleader.”

So, cheers to all of the readers here,

please enjoy my most recent article here on Medium until the next time.

Be blessed and be encouraged.

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Storytelling with my pen and keyboard since 2014. ~ Tisha Hammond

Serving up done-for-you press releases and other cool media products for your content library. Follow on IG @accesspassmedia and @careermastered