Practically Perfect
How One Childhood Joke Got Out of Hand
“If you don’t bring home straight-As, we’ll send you to Siberia.”
Go ahead — laugh. Most people do when my parents trot out the story. Outright guffaws that anyone — even an innocent youngster — might take such an empty threat seriously. Indulgent laughter at hearing the tale for the five hundredth time. Or nervous giggles in response to another example of unrealistic parental pressure.
Except, at the time, my parents felt their expectations justified. And they saw no harm in the joke. It’s one of their favorites. Because they never imagined those words would lead to the hard-wiring in my brain that turned into one of the worst habits of my life.
Punchline’s On You
Let’s get one thing straight: I was a dream child. I adored school. Where some kids complain about trudging to class, homework, and projects, such ideas energized my little heart. I zipped through assignments in record time. Teachers wrote permission slips to grant me access to the entire library. (Why kids EVER get restricted based on age is beyond me) My extra credit work ended up completed for fun, not a need to boost my grade.
My education record sparkled. Teachers tripped over themselves to get my name on their class rosters. And my parents…
