Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself And Take Pride in Who You Are
Let go of self-pity for good
Life’s not fair for anyone. Everyone has their fair share of bad days, difficult moments, and hard times. It’s okay to feel low — and even depressed — for a while when the chips are down, but you must never feel sorry for yourself and make self-pity a part of your life.
Things won’t pan the way you want them to, plans will fail to materialize, and life will throw a curveball. Stuff will keep happening. That’s life; deal with it.
The problem with self-pity
Feeling pity for yourself because you’ve made mistakes, are experiencing unfavorable circumstances, or things are not going your way is the rudest thing to do. It expresses your helplessness and acknowledges you’re a loser — which you are certainly not.
“Self-pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.”
— Helen Keller
Self-pity is taking things from bad to worse. What starts with feeling sorry for yourself takes a downward spiral, and before you know it, it starts to take a toll on your sense of self and happiness.
Thus holding a pity party every time you feel stressed out or overwhelmed can be highly self-destructive and can sabotage your chances of bouncing back and recovering from the low phase.
Here’s how you can avoid feeling sorry for yourself and stay clear of self-pity.
Know that life’s not perfect
Life’s pretty much like a game, and we’re all in this together. Not everyone gets good cards in every round. You have your luck and chances, and there’s nothing you can do to change the cards you are dealt.
“Nobody has a perfect anything. We don’t have perfect lives. We’re not perfect beings.”
— Gladys Knight
Dwelling too much on your troubles only saps your motivation and makes you feel helpless and demoralized.
The best thing to do is make peace with what you get, play to the best of your ability, and make the game worthwhile.
Instead of whining, feeling sorry, or playing the victim, try to make things work for yourself and tip the odds in your favor. Look at life from a positive perspective, and you’ll find a lot to celebrate about.
Stop playing the comparison game
When something doesn’t go the way you plan, the first thing you do is to compare yourself with others who are better off than you and are enjoying a good phase in life. That is a surefire way to feel miserable about yourself and invite negative feelings of self-pity.
You cannot possibly have everything that everyone else has. Each person has their own favorable times, chances, and opportunities. It might be that when you’re riding high, other people may be experiencing setbacks.
“Other people’s lives seem better than yours because you’re comparing their director’s cuts with your behind the scenes.”
— Evan Rauch
So stop comparing yourself with others. Identify and leverage your strengths, build on your abilities and skills, and move forward in life.
Focus on what’s going good for you
It’s easy to allow yourself to feel sorry for the difficulties you are facing. However, focusing on the good things will help you pull out of the negative thoughts and look forward to better times ahead.
Problems and setbacks are part and parcel of life but what’s encouraging is that they don’t last forever.
When you have no control over your circumstances, it’s best to take in stride whatever comes your way, roll with the punches, and don’t let the rough times get the best of you.
Enjoy the things that are running well, celebrate the positives in your life and feel blessed to have supportive and understanding people who can help ease the pain of the tough times and uplift your spirits.
“Accentuate the positive, Eliminate the Negative, latch onto the affirmative.”
— Bing Crosby
How to take pride in yourself
Most people feel comfortable praising others, but when it comes to feeling proud about themselves, they shy away.
Pride is not a negative emotion like conceit; it’s a positive sentiment. Feeling proud of yourself for who you are and what you do is pure self-love.
“It takes strength to be proud of yourself and accept yourself when you know that you have something out of the ordinary about you.”
— Abigail Tarttelin
Here are four ways to rewire your mind and train yourself to be proud of yourself for just being you.
1. Banish self-doubt
You experience self-doubt when you’re quick to notice the negatives in your actions and behavior and overlook the positives.
Constantly pulling yourself down makes you angry, and you feel like you’re not good enough for anything. This leads to feelings of jitteriness, anxiety, and under confidence.
You must realize that you’re only human and are liable to make mistakes, take wrong decisions and make poor choices.
So stop judging yourself and replace criticism with self-compassion. Inculcating a positive attitude towards yourself will help you see yourself in a higher light and overcome feelings of self-pity.
“Life is about overcoming self-doubt.”
— Lenny Henry
2. Believe in your abilities
Having faith in yourself and knowing deep within that you are capable of accomplishing your goals and becoming what you want to be puts you in a comfortable space. You muster the courage to step out of your comfort zone and bank on the opportunities that come your way.
With self-belief, you feel in control of your life and can take positive steps to find solutions to your problems. The self-pity thus gives way to self-help, and you empower yourself to become your best friend, cheerleader, and support system all rolled in one.
“There are ups and downs, but whatever happens, you have to trust and believe in yourself.”
— Luka Modric
3. Reflect on your past successes
One of the best ways to shoot down feelings of insecurity and self-pity is to look at your life thus far and remind yourself how far you have come.
You’ve battled the tough times, faced the odds, and despite the difficulties achieved goals, won accolades, and succeeded in realizing many of your dreams.
When you relive those great moments and see your achievements unfolding in the eye of your mind, you’ll stop feeling sorry for the temporary roadblocks in your life and get motivated to navigate the challenges in your life.
“Applaud you’re moving forward. Celebrate your ‘on the go’ drive.”
— Hiral Nagda
4. Surround yourself with your support group
When you’re facing problems and experiencing disappointments, it’s normal to feel emotionally drained. In such challenging times, you’re liable to get yourself in a negative frame of mind and feel self-pity.
“To prevent getting sucked by misery, step out of your head and bond with people who can uplift you.”
We all have people we can rely on, who understand and support us, and have our backs. Sharing your pain with your family and close friends can help you unburden your mind, clear your head and encourage you to find the way forward instead of feeling sorry for yourself.
Concluding Thoughts
No matter who you are or what you do for a living, know that you are special; you matter and what you do has value and positively impacts the lives of others.
When you feel good about yourself and take pride in your work, you’ll be invigorated to perform well and deliver better results.
If my articles resonate with you and add value to you, do support me with a delicious coffee
