Stop Pretending You Can Do Without Friends (You Know You Can’t!)
What’s all this?
Why do we trivialize friendships and make them look like something we are doing others favor to keep?
Every day, I see many status updates of people saying, “ignore whoever ignores you,” “ don’t fight for anyone; if they are yours, they will stay.”
Anytime I see posts like that, I can hear a desperate voice within me shouting, “no! no! no!”
We don’t give friendships their rightful place and act as though we could do without friends.
Let’s be honest; we can’t!
I am an ex-loner. I got to a point in my life where I had to drop my pride and desperately admit I needed close relationships.
I can still remember vividly saying my six years in secondary school were so boring, not because the school was boring but because I didn’t have SATISFYING friendships.
I then determined I wouldn’t let my university days slip by in the same way.
I’m grateful I did. University was fun!
Having friends is a vital part of the healthy development of any individual. We thrive with associations.
Drudgery can become rich fun if you do it with a close friend. The fun will come from the relationship/experience the work availed.
On the other hand, what you enjoy doing can become boring if there is no one to share the experience with. (Remember, the internet only exist because there’s someone on the other side).
Stop pretending you don’t need friends and go the extra mile to protect your friendships.
This would mean putting your goals aside for some time, allowing your ego to be stung, being vulnerable, going out of your comfort zone for the sake of friendship.
You long for close and satisfying relationships, and you know it.
However, this doesn’t mean you should accept just anyone into your life because you desperately need friends.
That can be more dangerous than having no friends.
So…?
- Identify the friends you need. Friendship is a relationship of mutual benefit. You give, but you also take.
- Go out and scout for those friends. Not by pleading and desperation, but by becoming a person who will attract such people and BEING FRIENDLY.
- Be intentional about making friendships work. Everything that works is made to work.
- If the friendship is not satisfying, don’t force it. It’s truly not just friendship we want, but satisfying friendships.
Like me, you can begin to have the full spark of life if you give friendships their rightful place.
PS: Several heartbreaks have not quenched your need for satisfying friendships. You still need them, and you can have them!
