The Pitfalls of Falling in Love With Potential -Why We Do it and How to Stop
I spent most of the last decade traveling, dating different people, and discovering the version of me I wanted to become. I worked jobs that burned me out, moved abroad, and completely lost my sh*t, but there was nothing that brought me to my knees quite like the consequences of falling in love with potential.
I know this is often contested because we must see some level of potential in a future partner; otherwise, we wouldn’t choose them. They need to possess certain qualities that would lead us to consider committing in the first place. I am not arguing we should do away with potential-seeking altogether; we just need to pair it with standards and self-awareness.
The challenge arises when we ignore red flags, make excuses, and self-abandon to make someone fit the narrative of who we want them to be and keep the dream of a relationship alive.
This cycle is far from foreign to me, inevitably leading to countless dysfunctional relationships, deep unhappiness and ultimately costing me the possibility of true intimacy. Relationships built on the shaky foundation of someone else’s unrealized potential never last.
That’s because entering a relationship under this pretense is a recipe for disaster.
