Things I learned after 5years in boarding School
Story of my life
I was nine-ish or so when my parents put me in a boarding school in Bamenda. Baptist High School Mankon is located on a hill called Matsam in Mankon. ( Mankon is a village in Bamenda). BHS was my dream secondary school. My cousins went to school there and always fed us amazing tales whenever they came back for holidays. After succeeding in my common entrance examination and having my First School Leaving Certificate, I couldn’t be more excited to go to boarding school. Boarding schools in Cameroon are usually considered to be for kids who come from relatively rich homes. I came from a lower-middle-class family and my education in a boarding school was pretty expensive for them. They saw it as an investment into my future and I was privileged to go.
On my first day of school, vehicles of all categories were packed behind the administrative block. A shiny black hummer packed a while after my dad and I arrived and the son of a minister stepped out like it was the most normal thing in the world.
I was from Baham, a village in Bafoussam. My ride wasn’t as glamorous — my dad’s Kymco bike. Everything seemed impressive to me. The school was so vast, it was like nothing I had ever been to. The lawns were neatly mowed and were in perfect symmetry. There were even stones arranged neatly to form the words “Welcome to BHS Mankon”. There were taps almost everywhere. How thoughtful. The dormitories were big and filled with bunk beds.
A lot of students were crying after their parents were to leave but not me. I was happy to be there. Growing up in a two-bedroom house with 5 siblings and other relatives, our house was always crowded. I was so happy that I will have a bed to myself, use my towel alone, and put my stuff without wondering where it went the next morning.
I was ready for boarding school — -or so I thought. I was barely ten years old and just about one meter tall, but I didn’t come from an ajebo house. It also helped that I was the first daughter of my parents. I knew how to wash, clean, fold my clothes and organize. I had classmates who didn’t know how to take a bath by themselves. I should have felt superior to them but rather, I felt inferior to them. But this is not the point of this story. Maybe some other time.
I am grateful to have had the opportunity to be educated at BHS Mankon. While every school can make you literate, not all can educate you.
Let me take you through some of my experiences during the five years I was there and how they have shaped my life and the person I am now.
1. Discipline will take you far
We had to wake up at 5 am and do chores and be ready for morning devotion at 6:30 am. What happens if you come for devotion at 6:35 am? This could be due to valid reasons such as congestion at the tap, you couldn’t find your bucket and had to wait for someone else to finish bathing so you beg theirs, your sobo sandals got stolen, or senior students kept sending you on errands and you couldn’t finish with your stuff in time
Being a few minutes late was welcomed with one hell of an experience. The punctuality prefects will not spare you irrespective of your excuse. This was the case for any activity in school.
Life is war and situations don’t wait for you to be dressed then attack you. Opportunities don’t wait. You have to be alert and punctual at all times. Leading a disciplined life helps you focus tremendously and be more productive in your day or life in general. No matter what may be trying to hold you back, you should be disciplined to wade through it. Excuses don’t help!!
2. You need others
Living in a boarding school meant living as a community. Your sugar will finish one day and you will have to beg sugar with which to eat your garri. You may not be feeling well and you’ll need someone to bring you food or carry your bucket of water to the bathroom. Making room for other people is essential because we need one another.
Having friends in senior classes was key too because you could have some favours, get out of some situations and receive special treatment in certain circumstances.
Once, I was late for lunch. The doors to the refectory had already been locked. The refectory prefect saw me outside through the window and carried me in. I didn’t do anything, he was just fond of me. My big in school is one of the best relationships I have in my life
You need three kinds of people in your life
- Those below you, so you can mentor and teach them
- Those at the same level with you with whom you share similar experiences
- Those ahead of you that you can learn from
Quality relationships will take you where qualification only won’t.
3. The Quality of your life is in your habits
Boarding school is basically a life of routine. There was a menu that was strictly adhered to, every day had a program that was followed to the latter. You had to go to bed at 10 pm and wake up by 5 am every day. It was the same thing over and over again.
Bathing twice a day is a habit I got from boarding school.
Whenever I went home for holidays, I would clean and clean and organize. I would wake up at 5 am even when I didn’t need to.
Pushing yourself to do something you really don’t want might be the best decision of your life.
I spent almost all my prep time reading novels and writing short stories. That’s probably when I knew that I could write someday. I stopped writing for some years and resumed recently. I decided to write every day and I have seen my craft get better.
Habits that you build may not be pleasant at the time, but you’ll be glad you did them.
“Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement”
― James Clear
4. Hard work and determination will produce success
At the end of the first term of form 1, I was seventh in the class. I felt so bad and ashamed to take my report card home. It was the first time I took a number greater than 2nd. I felt like a total failure. I remember crying and taking my report card to the Vice Principals office for them to check if they didn’t make any errors.
When I came back during the second term, I came with a plan. I will do my assignments during afternoon preps and read my notes during evening preps. I will still spend time reading my novels of course but I was more invested in my studies. That term, I was first in the class.
That was my first introduction to “Hard work leads to success”. All through primary school, I never struggled to succeed. I used to take first effortlessly. Then when I went to secondary school, there were students wayyy smarter than me and I needed to put more effort to be distinguished.
Even if you are good at what you do, you’ll need hard work to be better and stand out. The world is a competitive place. Talent does not take the place of hard work.
5. Never Give In and never give up
Being in a boarding school, you need to have a thick skin not to give in to pressure. I made up stories about my family just to fit in. I made a covenant to date only when I want to marry when I was in boarding school. Everyone had boyfriends and I didn’t want to disregard the advice my mum gave me about dating in school. There is pressure to act a certain way, do certain things.
Standing your ground in what you believe is very important in maintaining your identity.
I tried to fit in with the rich, the popular and I just get embarrassed when I think about it now. I developed low self-esteem. I felt I could not be loved because I hated my looks. It took me a great part of my late teens to heal and grow.
Never give in to pressure. It cannot be overemphasized.
There have been many situations in my life where I have been able to apply this. From growing my medium audience to solving life conflicts.
So many students withdrew from school because they could not cope with the situation. It is always so much easier to give up on something difficult. But these experiences are what shaped us to be what we are today
Holding on to what you believe will bring you more respect.
When next you want to give in, at your workout session or the deadline you are trying to meet, hold on a little longer.
There may be the second part of this — -or not. A lifetime of writing may not cover all my experiences in BHS and how it moulded me. I may never send my children to boarding school, but I’m glad I went to one
