Why You Struggle to Find Your True Calling
Ever heard of multipotentialites? Because you might be one.
Have you ever wondered what your thing is, I mean, your one true calling? Perhaps asking yourself whether you will ever find it, or if you even have one.
If your true calling is not what you are currently doing — and wasn’t something you previously did — you might go on to hope it will be the next thing. Or perhaps the one after that. And even if the next thing feels like the thing, you will wonder how long it might last. If at all.
Surely, trial and error is a good way forward in finding your path in life. What you like and whatnot.
Regardless, by now you may have asked yourself how many times you can keep trying. Keep changing, starting over, and building from scratch. Growing restless wondering when you will find the perfect match.
Is there a limit to how many tries you have in a lifetime, and if so, have you reached it? Maybe you’re thinking it would be better to just stick with one thing and build your expertise in that area. Because that’s how everyone else seems to be doing it.
But why is it so hard to commit? Feelings of laziness or a need to just grow up and supposedly get yourself together (put politely) may or may not have crossed your mind at times.
The thing is, it is not only about our careers. It’s about identity. Asking ourselves why we are here, trying to find our purpose. And that is something worth striving for. Because meaning gives us happiness and energy. It makes life worth living.
As passionate individuals, finding meaning in what we do lets us tap into that intense desire to learn and experience new things. But how do we get there?
What you want to be
Ever since we were little kids we have been asked what we want to be when we grow up. At this time we begin to understand the approval from our surroundings when we give a concise answer. Sort of declaring an identity, as Emilie Wapnick writes in the book How to be everything.
As we grow older, this seemingly innocent question might turn out to be a bit heavier to address. Somehow, the question implies that you need to choose one thing. And it better be your one true calling.
If you struggled with answering this question before — or perhaps still do — maybe it isn’t a result of not having any interests, but rather having too many.
On one hand, we feel the external pressure to be put in an easily identifiable box. To make it easy for everyone to understand what kind of person we are. On the other, we feel the internal pressure to make the right decision. To choose the right identity for ourselves.
Recognize the feeling?
How can you possibly fit everything you are, everything you want to do, be and achieve in one box? (P.S. This is true also for specialists, as we are not defined by our careers. But that’s another story.)
A specialist world
When everyone else seems to have found their one true calling, why are you still struggling to find yours?
In our society, the (success) stories of specialists are many. Perhaps you have heard the one about the doctor who always knew she wanted to become one. Or the one about the girl who always felt a calling to become a lawyer, so she went on and fulfilled her dream. Done and done.
If you’re a specialist who found your path in life, congratulations! That’s truly amazing. But if you aren’t, don’t worry.
This is precisely the type of success stories we are constantly fed with. Starting at a young age and continuing throughout our lives. We are encouraged to pick our one identity. To put ourselves in a box.
“A specialized life is portrayed as the only path to success, and it’s highly romanticized in our culture.” — Emilie Wapnick in How to be everything
In a world of specialists, it is hard to be something else. But do we have to find our one true calling, or is there more to it?
The multipotential way of life
According to Emilie Wapnick, a multipotentialite is someone with many interests and creative pursuits. Derived from the word multipotentiality, which is both an educational and psychological term describing people who display aptitudes across multiple disciplines. Generalist is another common term to describe this type of person.
While a specialist builds her success on being an expert in her field, a multipotentialite thrives by having a deeper knowledge of the relationship between different fields. Working on the intersection, between domains.
If you are familiar with feeling out of place in a specialist world or tend to quickly lose interest in things that you love at first — you might be a multipotentialite. Or generalist, if you prefer.
Perhaps the idea of doing the same thing forever sounds like a nightmare, or maybe the instability of changing your path over and over again scares you. But there are ways to successfully combine multiple passions into a career, specially made for you.
“We receive ominous warning from the people in our lives and the media about the dangers of being a quitter, a flake, or a jack-of-all-trades, master of none.” — Emilie Wapnick in How to be everything
If you identify with any of the above, I can’t recommend Emilie Wapnick’s book enough. It’s called How to be everything, and it gets to the heart of what it is like to be a generalist — or multipotentialite — in a specialist world.
In the book, Wapnick also gives a very hands-on account of how you can combine your passions to create the life you want for yourself. Most importantly, it shows you that it is possible.
Finding your purpose
So, if you are a multipotentialite, perhaps your path will look a bit different from what is generally expected. But it will be your path.
Sure, the road might be bumpy, you might struggle to explain it to others at first, and it might not always make sense (perhaps even to you). But you will figure it out. And it will make sense. One step at a time.
“Our paths may look random or chaotic on paper, but they are often more practical than we think.” — Emilie Wapnick in How to be everything
Finding inspiration and role models with out-of-the-box careers might help a lot on the way. It might help ensure you that pursuing different things can indeed lead to success. If that’s that’s the path you want to go down.
