What Does Your Authentic Self Look Like?
How being positive and focusing on self-improvement can change your life
Let’s travel back to New Year’s Eve.
Just like many people across the globe, I was thrilled for 2020. The idea that it was going to be a new decade brewed in my mind. I would become an adult, I would graduate and start earning money, I could even get married and have children — my life could be vastly different in the next ten years.
What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of life do I want? What career do I want to have?
These thoughts struck me.
So I made a list of New Year’s resolutions.
Just like everyone else, I tried to stick to my resolutions, which included exercising more frequently, eating healthier, grabbing opportunities, practicing my religion, and more. I was so sure that I would be able to do them all. Once the New Year’s high was over, I got lost in my work and studies. I had a very busy first quarter of the year: traveling back and forth from my hometown and university town, studying five subjects, volunteering to organize an event, and dealing with all the other daily mundane things. This year I wanted to grow to become a better person and a better me. I threw myself into different activities as part of my mission of self-discovery and growing self-confidence, except I forgot the most important priority of my life: I also had to take care of myself — my mind and my body.
Soon enough, I was overwhelmed with stress and I felt like a pressure cooker. I wasn’t able to do all my studies properly and I didn’t even have the time to spend with my family. I had so much work, I started working on my phone when I was in the car or on the train going from one place to another. The first and the last thing I did during my day was either studying or work. I forgot about exercising and I didn’t have as much time to spend with my friends. Like a pressure cooker, unable to contain the emotions cooking inside, I cried a few times to let the steam out. My only wish was to get a break, so I could get a hold of all my tasks. I ended up praying for a break and I got it.
TA-DA! COVID-19 — My savior or should I say the beacon of light that made me look inwards. I finally got the time to breathe, sleep, and check my to-do list right before the new online trimester started. Up until about now, I realized one thing: I had to learn to prioritize myself. I couldn’t always allow myself to be consumed by stress. I needed to step back and rethink.
I had to learn to prioritize myself. I couldn’t always allow myself to be consumed by stress. I needed to step back and rethink.
During the initial periods, I was at peace. My heart was filled with gratitude for the time that I received. I cherished everything and everyone around me. Nevertheless, it was momentary. Overthinking, frustration, procrastination, and boredom bombarded me when I had to motivate myself to review for my exams at home. My next wish was for online studies to be over so that I could enjoy my holiday. A part of me also knew that, when the holiday started, the same cycle would repeat and I would wish to start studying again (for the record, it did). Sometimes I feel like I am in a never-ending loop of wanting to be at another place or at another time. Why couldn’t I find happiness at the moment?
Paul H. Dunn said, “Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it’s too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow.” This was my aspiration.
Earlier on, one of my good friends shared a YouTube video from Lavendaire. Since then, it has become one of my favorite YouTube channels. Back in the pre-COVID days when I was able to go to the university, I had a morning routine to watch a positive motivational video in the morning and I watched the videos from this channel.
Lavendaire, founded by the entrepreneur Aileen Xu, is a blog about personal growth and lifestyle design. She also has a YouTube channel, podcasts, free resources, and a shop accessible for anyone to utilize in order to grow as a person and design their own dream life. One of my favorite quotes of hers is, “Life is an art. Make it your masterpiece.” I have seen that this is true. You can’t just sit there and wait for things to happen. We must learn how to do it, work for it, and create it. It is easier said than done but consistency and discipline are the keys to success.
We must learn how to do it, work for it, and create it. It is easier said than done but consistency and discipline are the keys to success.
When the pandemic got to me, I knew I had to get inspired. I rewatched some of the videos to nudge my memory and recalled the two values that I had previously learned and wanted to maintain: being positive and being authentically myself.
In “5 Positive Habits That Will Change Your Life,” Aileen shares five important habits that we should work on. One of them is to “Stop playing the victim. Stop complaining. Stop blaming.” We forget that everyone “has a different set of cards” to deal with. Instead of being absorbed in self-pity and being bitter about other people, we can go out there and learn to shape our own life.
Additionally, in order to learn, we have access to so many great resources. Our first thought might be to go to the internet but Aileen emphasizes books! Books are a collection of other people’s life experiences that are assembled together with careful thought and consideration so imagine how much knowledge we can gain from that. I have read some of the recommended books from her list and I can guarantee that it is life-changing. For example, after reading “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer, one of the things I became aware of is my inner energy. When I am happy, my heart feels open and I can feel the energy rushing inside. When I am unhappy, my heart feels closed and the energy cannot go inside it. So to stay happy, all I have to do is keep my heart open to whatever that is happening. This seems surreal but once you try to feel it, you will know it’s always been like this, and it’s a very difficult task to keep your heart always open.
Another takeaway from her videos is a deeper understanding of what it meant to be my “authentic” self. We must learn to embrace our unique self, our strengths, and our weaknesses. We must remember that we are all equally worthy and good in our own way, “one person’s success, beauty, light, strengths, gifts, talents, everything does not diminish what you have.” I understood this when I reflected on how I was easily influenced by my friends and I would follow them. Sometimes I wanted my life to be like theirs. One day it just clicked that, our lives cannot be the same because I am not them and they are not me. I shouldn’t even try to be like them but instead, try to be more me.
What really helped me was keeping a gratitude journal. It’s simple and easy. Every day, I just type what I am grateful for, and in time, I realized that sometimes it may not seem like it, but we do have so much to be thankful for.
I am not an expert. I am just an individual trying to become more me whilst finding my path in this world and I am still working on myself to become a better me. Some days it is easier, other days are harder. But this is life. Life will always go on the way it wants to. It is time that we grab that paintbrush and paint the canvas that has been given to us. Even if we make mistakes, it is okay. With mistakes, comes knowledge and a better version of ourselves. Start creating your masterpiece today.
Narisa is currently doing her undergraduate degree, majoring in biomedical sciences and minoring in psychology. She believes in having a positive outlook in life, being a good human being, and respecting and understanding others. She is an animal-lover. In her free time, she enjoys learning new languages, baking, playing piano, traveling, celebrating, and spending time with her family and her dogs.
