Making time for hobbies
People say there’s no such thing as “too busy.” If it matters to you, you’d make time for it. If it doesn’t, you’ll make excuses.
When I was a student, I whined about how there isn’t enough time in the day to conquer my to-do list and also do what I actually wanted to. I was always waiting for the holidays to come so I can pursue personal projects, but I never actually worked on them when the time came.
Winter and spring breaks would come and go, and all I would have accomplished was a Netflix marathon.
This has only gotten worse after becoming a working adult with no homework.
With the abundance of time, came an abundance of excuses:
- Oh, I’m too tired from work to do anything else, so I’ll just watch some stuff.
- I need to unwind with some Netflix after that day.
- I have that night meeting 3 hours from now, so I’ll relax now and just roll into bed after it.
- I wasn’t productive enough at work today, so I should probably do a little bit more tonight.
- I have work tomorrow. I’ll just do it this weekend.
- I have chores/plans this weekend. I’ll just do it after work during the week.
And so on.
No matter how much time I had, I always found a reason not to do what I said I was going to. The same principle applies to some of the tasks I do at work, but those actually get accomplished (albeit minutes before the deadline).
Since my sticky note brain-dump to figure out why is it that I felt unfulfilled at work, I’ve learned to be a lot more honest with myself.
It wasn’t the actual time in the day that was stopping me from pursuing my hobbies; it’s the fear of being inadequate and unable to make my own ideas into reality. I’m terrified that my untrained, impatient hands wouldn’t be able to execute what my brain has polished to perfection.
I’m scared I wouldn’t be good enough.
The cycle is paralyzing: I’m never going to start because I’m scared I’m not going to be very good. I’m not going to be very good because I’m not practicing. I’m not practicing because I won’t start because I don’t think I’ll be very good at it.
Once I realized being trapped in that loop was my real problem, I was halfway to conquering it. Creating and committing to an action plan to move me forward was the other half.
I’m very good at discouraging myself if I’m not stellar at my first try, so I knew I needed to find people and motivation outside of myself. I joined a group for creatives in my area. I gathered all the courage I could muster and honestly told them about my problem —
I have all these ideas for projects but I never finish anything. I’m always discouraging myself and making excuses not to keep going. How do you keep creating?
The answer was surprisingly unanimous:
If you create for someone else — not for you (you’re your worst critic), but someone who is important and supports you — you’ll find the inspiration to finish.
I drove home from that meet-up with renewed energy. I thought of the people in my life and the ideas came pouring in. I thought about how much they love and support me, and the self-criticism I typically had when I made graphics or painted didn’t kick in. I knew there wasn’t a chance in hell that the recipient wouldn’t appreciate whatever it is that I was making for them.
I felt freed.
But I knew I couldn’t completely take myself out of the equation. I want to create for myself, too.
I want to prove to myself that I am good enough. Most importantly, I want to see myself improve over time, through patience and consistency.
That’s why I decided to participate in Inktober this year. I’m two days behind, but I’ll catch up tomorrow. Today was meant for this Medium post (including the accompanying graphic) and catching up with friends I hadn’t seen in a while.
It’s also been a lot of fun to create written pieces consistently for MoyChoy. Though I’m still writing a large portion of it on the day of (ideally, I’d like to have my post and graphic finished and queued up for publishing before Saturday), I’m doing my best to focus on the fact that I’m meeting my commitment to publish every Saturday.
So far, those mindset changes have helped me distinguish between actual time constraints and insecurity-induced excuses. The other half of the equation — finding the time to commit to these hobbies — is answered by finding the idle time I could utilize better.
I knew that I spend a lot of time on YouTube and Netflix, so I just started incorporating more multi-tasking during those “down times.” I would watch my favorite vloggers while finishing up a sketch or a painting, or I’d have a podcast going while I Photoshop.
By combining the things that I already like to do, I’m finding that I have a lot more time in the day than I initially perceived. I’m not making art or writing everyday, but I am doing those things more often than I used to ever do.
My quality of work is not always at the level I imagine, but I’m not as discouraged by my current results anymore. I’m just happy I get to create.
