Cocoon Pro: a place to BE the long
On the road home: where I was.
In 2015, I left the Italian boot and I settled in England. For the last 8 years, Brighton has been the container of my becoming: I went to university, moved from house to house, got involved in diverse initiatives and communities, and so with time, I rooted in this Celtic land.
Yet when I graduated in 2020, during the global pandemic, the soil trembled under my feet. I free-fall into a hole of fear. I felt alone taking the first steps into adulthood, facing the myriad of responsibilities and grown-up stuff. I was lost, looking for a place to belong. Most of all, I was disappointed and resistant to believe that the world of work, all of what those years of education should have prepared me for, was a dry place to simply survive.
As often happens when you move from a position of distress, I went for the most familiar and comfortable path: I found a secure 9 am-5 pm job that paid the bills, without asking whether it was in integrity with my values and/or aspirations. Let me be clear, by saying this, I am not undermining my choice. In the present moment, it served me and, at least, set me in motion circling out the spiral of dismay. Slowly, I could feel again the ground under me and I could ask and listen with curiosity and kindness to what that young worker Anna truly desired and needed.
I peeled under the layers of disengagement and lack of purpose, founding I was longing for a learning organisation free from superfluous hierarchies, where intergenerational dialogue was welcomed and encouraged. I was longing for a humbling and collaborative space where I to contribute without predefined role specs. I was longing for flexibility to stand up from my chair following my body’s natural cycles and work boundless whether from home, a coffee shop, or the bench of a park. I wanted to feel engaged and proactive in exploring what it means to design for adaptive and regenerative businesses and nurture a culture of care and trust.
So, I found Cocoon Pro.
When I decided to join the team, my situation was not so much different from some years before. Uncertainty was there, it has always been, never leaving me. I didn’t really know what my place was nor I knew how much I could earn… But this time, my intuition was whispering to me to be brave. I closed my eyes and listened closer, she said: you are home. I said yes from a place of abundance.
A dream along the way.
I was dreaming of a world of work that could accommodate all of my longings. In the dream, I walked a long way, crossed forests, and reached peaks to finally find this refuge. Once I was there, I opened the door and stepped into it. Inside, people welcomed me, gave me a chair to sit on and food to enjoy. We shared laughter and stories around the fire, we danced and we cleaned before going to sleep. The day after, we woke up and together we set out to continue the hike. I wasn’t walking alone anymore, I was climbing up and down, at times in silence, at times singing, but in company.
In the dream, all of a sudden, a strong wind lifted while thunders were roaring from the distance. The sky turned dark and started crying. I looked around and everyone disappeared. In front of me, open wild, no tree to find shelter. I started running, I got tired, I screamed and fall on my knees. I don’t know for how long I was in that position under the rain when a light caught my attention: I raised my head up and the moon was leading me towards some bushes. I stood up, got closer, and, behind, there was a little pond. I looked down and I saw my own image reflecting into the water. I told her — “I thought I got it all, why is this happening?”. The wind calmed down, and, in the stillness, I could hear her asking me back — “What depth do your longings require you?”.
A space to unlearn and relearn: where I am now.
I woke up from my dream and I sat to write, appreciate, and make sense. At this point in time, I’ve been participating in Cocoon Pro’s activities and heartbeats for four months. As in the dream, I crossed the door and sat in a circle with a tribe of wonderful people both in the Winter Jam and the Ohana Meet Up. I’ve been turning my camera on each day and working along supporting and inspiring people. And, as the dream goes, I’ve also faced my own limitations and conditionings.
The biggest insight I’ve had so far is this: trusting my own voice once is not enough if I am not willing to keep living the questions. I was brave to step into the unknown but that didn’t make me already the agile, autonomous, creative version of working Anna I am aspiring to become. Having the possibility to work flexibly didn’t necessarily mean I was suddenly the queen of time management. Quite the contrary, I found myself stuck on the chair 9 am-5 pm, hardly taking a break. Having the freedom to work remotely from anywhere didn’t turn me into a wild nomad. Quite the opposite, I barely left the house, and the space where I was secretly meditating and flowing turned into a work office the majority of the time. Working in an adaptive organisation where you can choose what project to take up didn’t make me already a zen juggler. Instead, I noticed I was fearing missing out, striving and struggling to cope with stress and prioritising. Working in a learning organisation founded in a culture of care and trust didn’t transform me magically into a compassionate collaborator.
Sure is, I’ve been surrounded by teammates who were once aware of falling into the trap of getting operationally effective without taking care of the relationships that make us thrive in our work together, they slow down and find the time to nurture, feedback, and play with me. A week ago, I took part in a co-design session and my colleague formulated this in a post-it: a place to be the long. I felt resonated. Cocoon Pro is not simply the refuge that you find along the way. What for me is meaningful in working here is the gift to have the time and space to look in the pond, explore, and stay with the questions without rushing my becoming but with people equally curious and brave.
In the world of work today there are many other cool people longing for a better and new way of working. The risk is to demand the world to change though, forgetting that our own worldview might also require to evolve too. The process entails patience like waiting for a seed to flourish. So, what are your longings asking you to let go and to embody in your journey of becoming?
While I live the question, I set out and show up with childlike wonder, ready to be surprised.
