The top (personal and professional) things I learned from being a mum
On June 21st I had a baby, Leo arrived in my family.
A beautiful big little human being that transformed my life with his smile and transparency. His pure soul and this whole experience touched me so much that some things deep inside me changed.
The last months of my pregnancy I started to wonder about the meaning of being a mum. It was so difficult to answer to this question because you have to find YOUR meaning. There are no right answers. So my path to understanding began, my identity evolved a great deal and this process is still ongoing.
I experienced a love so great that the whole world around me now has different colours, nuances and aspects.
The concept of time and space changed. My desires about the future changed. My idea of immortality changed.
I am also more convinced about leaving the place where I have lived for many years, because some features became very important. Above all respect, safety, green and nature.
In a clearer way I have seen that my city didn’t satisfy my needs anymore. My perception has shifted. Traffic noise became too loud. The poor attention to pedestrian crossings became intolerable. The smog became smellier and blacker.
I asked myself again what is truly important in Life and I also reconsidered my job.
I noticed that many relevant points that I observed when I worked with my customers are fundamental in the experience of being a mum too. And many behaviours that are important in being a mum are absolutely essential in organizations.
In particular, these 5 are the lessons that I have put in my pockets so far.
1) Never stop growing.
A child makes you better. You see the essence of Life in him and how precious it is. You strongly feel you are part of a whole and you are grateful to have this miracle in your arms. You want to give him a better world where he can grow and learn safely, the opportunity to discover his potential and what makes him really happy. Being an example for him will push you to never stop evolving.
So you start by working on yourself because you know that if we improve ourselves, people around us will thrive too.
2) Focus focus focus.
The energy and time that your baby needs are a lot, so prioritizing and focusing become very very important. You have to select where to put your attention because your velocity is not the same you had before. You need high discipline because the pressure of the things to do may be very strong.
I always tried to follow the Pareto’s 80/20 rule that states “20 percent of focused effort results in 80 percent outcome” but never as today can I say that this aspect is fundamental so as not to drift and choose what you truly want step by step.
3) Get free from fear.
Fear is very dangerous because it can block you and it can decide on your behalf. Fear is like a virus, it can infect all the people around you, so you need to work on yourself and learn to manage it, or better, to solve it. Fear of the unknown, of not being good enough, of not having security. When you have a child, fear becomes more powerful, so you have to pay constant attention to select the truly best options for your evolution and for your child’s growth, not the most comfortable or the easiest.
You have to trust yourself, people and the system. You need to stop controlling everything and abandon your expectations.
4) Rest and take care of yourself.
Having a child is an amazing experience but it’s a very demanding one. Night and day you take care of him. You sleep a few hours, you are constantly focused on responding to your child’s needs, you continuously experience strong emotions. But never forget to take care of yourself too. You need to rest, to sleep, to eat good food, to drink. You have to reserve space for yourself. You have to do it also for your baby.
You always have to remember to nourish yourself constantly and to preserve your space if you want to be in balance and able to contribute to your community and organisation.
If you lose the most precious part of yourself, how can you give something to others?
5) Be wrong without blaming yourself.
Everything is new and you feel you have a big responsibility. The life of another person depends completely on you. And that person is the sweetest human being you have ever met in your whole life. Of course you’ll do something wrong and some experiments will be a failure, but what matters is that you are acting with Love. If sometimes you don’t hear his crying immediately during the night or if you leave his cover at home, your baby will forgive you!
So, forgive yourself and don’t blame yourself. Make mistakes and learn how to improve.
I’m discovering that to be a mum is making me a better professional.
Bringing our personal life lessons to our professional lives, and the opposite as well, enriches our vision and comprehension of complexity. These 2 sides of ourselves are strongly interconnected and never as today I know that my growth is based on both.
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Other Medium blog posts by Claudia are here.
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Claudia works with organisations and people for their evolution. She finds continuous inspiration sources in iterative process and co-creation tools.
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