I Was Racist In Front of 1,400 People
And it’s time to face my stupidity.
Have you ever been on stage in front of thousands of people? It can be downright terrifying. While I’m not new to public speaking, I do find myself a bit jittery before heading onto a big stage.
At our annual conference this year, MozCon, I was honored to introduce our community speakers. There were four of them, and I knew each one personally which I thought would make introducing them pretty darn easy for me.
One of the speakers was Zeph Snapp, who happens to be from Mexico, and was speaking about Localizing your International content. After talking at a break before he went on stage, we decided it’d be fun for me to start speaking Spanish as I introduced him.
And so I did that. But what I said next, has absolutely horrified me since that day. Take a peek.
Uhm what? What THE ACTUAL FUCK did I just say?!
I was mortified.
But I still had to introduce more people, and get through the day, so I put it in the back of my mind. I seriously forced myself to forget I even said anything so utterly stupid because I *knew* it had come across as racist and as horrible as it had sounded in my head.
No one ever said anything to me about it though. So I thought perhaps that maybe… just maybe, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. But then we started getting feedback from attendees.
Here’s what one attendee wrote:
“I would be remiss if I did not note this. I was a bit offended by the comments made during the introduction to Zeph. I wasn’t sure if Ms. Lopez was trying to be funny or ironic (since she obviously spoke Spanish and has a Latin last name). However, being of Mexican descent, I’m fully aware of the country’s diversity and dialects. Her comments that Zeph does not ‘look Mexican’ and why can’t ‘they’ settle one on word for straws was a little much. I’d like to give her the benefit of doubt and believe she was trying to be funny. To me it came across as offensive and a little ignorant.”
*Gulp*
This person was right, I totally came across as offensive and ignorant.
What no one else knew was that when Zeph and I had been speaking in that break before he went on stage, he was telling me about how people don’t believe he’s from Mexico. With light hair, skin, and eyes, he often throws out some Spanish to “prove” himself. We laughed at how ridiculous that was. That was when we had decided it’d be fun for me to start the intro in Spanish.
And apparently that’s when my brain decided to fumble through explaining that to all 1,400 audience members. Instead of simply starting off in Spanish and then just introducing him, I kept on talking. Ugh. WHY?! Why didn’t I just shut up?
I’ve lived in Mexico, I love Mexico with all my heart, and I truly feel I’m neither ignorant or racist. But damn did I come across that way.
Now it’s time to face it, and fess up. I simply want to apologize to everyone in attendance. I hope I didn’t alienate anyone or make anyone feel bad about MozCon in general, it was most definitely not my intention; but if I did, I am very sorry.
It was just me… being jittery and stupid.
