Emotional blackmail is so last year
Brands should opt for equal relationships with their users instead
What brand doesn’t want to bond with their users? But at the same time, you want to sell a product or service. You know, bringing home the bacon and all. That’s why it might be tempting to increase your brand’s conversion with less-than-savory tricks. One of those tricks we see in UX writing is confirm shaming. Avoid at all costs — here’s why.
Wait, what’s confirmshaming?
Confirmshaming is provoking a negative emotion (like shame or guilt) to get someone to do something they might not even want to do. It’s emotional blackmail, the digital way. You often encounter confirm shaming in pop-ups. More often than not, these surprise screens are annoying. You’re doing something on a website and suddenly, you’re brutally interrupted. A brand does this for a reason: they want something from you.
Take this pop-up. Newsletter? Who cares? I’m shopping for shoes here, leave me alone. But you don’t want to click on the ‘Nah, I like paying full price’ either, unless you really do think of yourself as someone who hates discounts. The pop-up doesn’t offer an easy way out, either. Where’s that X button? And that’s it, you’re subscribed. It’s a clear case of confirmshaming.
Another time you might run into an instance of confirmshaming is when you’re unsubscribing from a newsletter or canceling a paid subscription. VPN client TunnelBear employs this ruthless don’t-abandon-me message. Whenever you want to uninstall their app, you get to see this poor little bear. TunnelBear indirectly calls you a bad friend and almost makes you feel like the bear’ll hurt itself if you uninstall. Is that something you want to feel responsible for? I don’t think so. Alright then, you’ll give the app another chance.
Confirmshaming always seems to follow the same pattern: you’re given a choice, with one favorable option for the shamer and another one designed to make you feel bad. It’s pretty nasty that way. And yet many companies still do it — there’s even a Tumblr dedicated to different examples.
Why confirmshaming isn’t the way to go
Sure, confirmshaming is good for conversions, but only in the short term. In the long run, confirmshaming can harm a brand. Users will feel like they’ve been played, or just plain bad about themselves. Those feelings may only last a second, but if a brand pulls this trick a lot, they’ll keep popping up and will eventually be associated with it. As a result, users won’t be sympathetic towards the brand at all.
It’s all about empathy
As a brand, you could also take the high road. In case of a newsletter: explain how it’ll improve your user’s life, with substantial arguments. Or tell a good joke, it’ll make you seem friendly and approachable. This way, you’re persuasive without being unkind or unethical. And if the user still isn’t interested? Hey, no hard feelings.
Translated by Jocelyn van Alphen
