Are You A People Pleaser?
Here’s a story about X. X is a woman. Is she me? Is she you?
As a young girl, X struggled to fit in with her friends. She didn’t have fancy toys or exciting holiday stories to share, so she felt like an outsider. Her friends would chat about their parents’ dinner parties, occasionally offering her a crisp from their packet, but never really including her in the conversation. Desperate to belong, she discovered a way to cope – by trying to please everyone.
She became really good at giving compliments, praising her friends’ looks or their clever answers in class or their sporting skills.
As she grew older, she kept using this tactic to make others happy, always putting their needs first. She did it at school, at work, and even at home.
At first, it seemed to work. People liked her kind words and warm gestures, and she felt valued – for a little while, at least. But as time went on, she realised that her efforts weren’t being reciprocated. Her friends and acquaintances were too caught up in their own lives to notice her sacrifices, let alone return the favour.
The funny thing was, her people-pleasing nature actually made her really focus on the good in others. She, however, forgot about her own needs and desires.
People pleasing had become a habit, a way to avoid rejection and feel included. But at what cost? She had lost touch with who she was, what made her happy, and her own self-worth.
Some things to think about:
- Trying to please everyone can be harmful, draining our energy and self-esteem.
- True connections are built on mutual respect and understanding, not just one-sided admiration.
- It’s crucial to recognise and prioritise our own needs, rather than relying on others for validation.
Question: Do you ever find yourself saying nice things to people just to make them happy? Take a moment to think about why you do it and consider whether it’s time to focus on your own happiness and self-worth.
While spreading positivity is wonderful, it should never come at the expense of our own self-worth and happiness.
