Conflict before Challenge.
Self-improvement is challenging, but the real challenge lies in overcoming the internal conflict that arises when you acknowledge the need for change even before you embark on the journey.
Your rationality and morality clash with your ego and emotions, as you challenge your self-perception and the very aspects of yourself that you’ve grown to cherish and feel confident about.
You find yourself questioning your abilities, doubting your opinions and struggling to recognize your strengths. Suddenly, you don’t feel good enough anymore.
You feel a sense of self-doubt, mistrust, and indecisiveness often accompanied by negative emotions like fear, anger, frustration, shame, disgust, confusion, and anxiety.
In extreme cases, this internal conflict can make you feel inadequate or worthless, fueling your insecurities and damaging your self-esteem. This creates a vicious circle of self-doubt, comparison, anxiety, and depression.
Here’s how it works?
Our ego, our sense of the self — the “I” is designed to make sense of the world and find our place in it. It protects us from the unknown by creating beliefs and perceptions that make us feel secure and confident.
So, when you challenge these perceptions and beliefs, your ego resists and fights against the rational part of your brain that wants to change.
In the context of self improvement, this internal conflict will arise when you:
- Change your self perception.
- Alter your world view.
- Have competing desires. Smoking vs quitting smoking, healthy vs junk food etc.
- Have contrasting goals and values. Productivity vs perfection.
- Have incoherent thoughts and actions. Wanting to help others vs never stepping up to do so.
However, this internal struggle is a necessary step towards personal growth and transformation.
The key is to embrace the uncertainty and use it as an opportunity to grow and discover a deeper understanding of who you want to be going forward.
So, how do you resolve this conflict?
- Acknowledge the conflict: Stop being defensive or self-critical. It is natural to feel conflicted in such a situation.
- Identify the reason for conflict: This will help you better understand the nature of the conflict and how to navigate around it.
- Calm the mind: Overcoming the feelings of shame, guilt, anger, fear etc. is paramount to better visualize the advantages of self improvement.
- Trust yourself: Feeling conflicted is a reason enough to trust that you know the right from wrong and what is best for you.
Successfully overcoming the conflict is just the beginning. It empowers you to take on the challenges of your next steps towards personal transformation.
Conclusion:
Dealing with internal conflict is a personal endeavour that is unique to your circumstances and your self improvement goals. Having trust in your abilities is what’s going to help you get over many moments of self doubt and slip ups along your journey to a better self.
I wish you all the best.
You Got This!!
