Don’t let stress win you
Simple tips to fight stress
Stress!
A six-letter word that is scary and can well turn your life upside down.
I was suffering from stress, not so long ago. A full-time job, family responsibilities, financial planning, dealing with sickness- it seemed my enemies planned it all together!
No time for self-care
I could hardly manage any time for myself — No time for a trip to the beauty salon or a hair spa. No time for staring at the sky or even, a walk in the park.
Difficulty sleeping
It’s no surprise that I was awake at 3 AM. The unfinished chore, the all-important assignment at work that I failed, and the little fight with my husband, all made me feel incomplete, and worthless.
Enough of these rants.. the list will never end.
The point is, I did not realize how cyclical these are -that is, how stress fuels unproductivity and unproductivity leads to more stress.
It is a vicious cycle.
You are likely to fight with your partner when stressed and stress will cause you to have even more friction with your partner.
The only way to come out of this vicious cycle is to first reduce stress.
I hear you. You cannot reduce stress if you are stressed trying to reduce stress.
I am no expert, for sure, but I have been in the same boat as you. I failed and then I learned.
It turns out, that, while trying to fit in many roles in life, I tended to neglect my health, my own needs. And when I forgot to take care of myself, I became irritable and grumpy. It made me less approachable, and less desirable.
Who wants to marry a sullen, ill-tempered lady? I am sure, my partner will say “I didn’t sign up for this.”
But as the proverb says,
“You can’t pour from an empty cup”
How can I take care of others, If I cannot fend for myself?
I learned to be empathetic with my self — forgive myself for not being a perfect worker at the office or a perfect housewife at home.
If I felt to sleep an hour more, I would prefer sleep - rather than stressing about the pending jobs that are screaming at me.
Self-care is not a selfish act, is it?
My life was not smooth. I did face some unexpected setbacks in life, despite trying hard to succeed. Like most people do, I also cursed my ill fate.
Slowly I realized that not all my effort would be rewarded. I might complete an assignment perfectly at the office, but still not get promoted.
I might cook a perfect recipe and still, my friends may not like it for their own reason.
There is no point in thinking hard about this. It simply means that I have to Let Go.
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” — Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
As time went by, I turned from a “People Pleaser” to a more practical person. I learned to say the most difficult word, “No”. Meaning, if I already have a preassigned list of things to do, I would definitely say “No” if I am asked for some additional work.
Now, that takes me to another point. I learned to delegate. There is nothing wrong with delegating stuff to family members or colleagues if I already have an overwhelming number of assignments on my plate.
I realize that a lot of changes cannot happen suddenly in a day. You may fail on the first occasion, but the situation will certainly improve if you are persistent in your effort.
Perseverance is your friend here, as the old proverb goes :
Rome was not built in a day.
