Gratitude is powerful but tricky to learn.
Gratitude, in simple terms, means being grateful and thankful (for everything) in life.
It means being thankful for life, for being alive, for a new day, for every breath we take, for the body that we have been given, for being human, as only humans (as far as science knows) are able to feel gratitude.
It means being thankful to nature and all its elements for everything it provides. For the air we breathe, for the food we eat, for the water we drink and for the resources we use.
It means being thankful for sunlight, air, rain, snow, rivers, glaciers, rocks, mountains, forests, trees, flora, fauna and everything else for all these elements work in harmony to make life at all possible on earth.
But we all know this implicitly and feel grateful without being aware, because otherwise, it would be a nihilistic world where no one was happy or kind.
So let’s talk about practicing gratitude consciously in our daily lives for the people and things around us, for our family and friends, for kind strangers we meet, for unexpected outcomes, for atrocities, failures, and rejections (yes, they are part of life and teach valuable lessons.)
Let me share some of the valuable lessons and challenges I faced on my journey to learning the art of expressing gratitude.
Gratitude helps you:
- Get a positive mindset.
- Stay away from negative emotions.
- Learn to be kind to others.
- Harbor healthy relationships.
- Appreciate what you have.
- Manage stress, anxiety and depression.
Positive mindset:
Focusing on the positive can transform your outlook on life to be more positive. Practicing gratitude empowers you to tackle life’s challenges with a welcoming attitude, giving you the strength and courage to pursue your full potential.
By feeling grateful, you’re inspired to live life to the fullest. It’s a simple yet powerful shift that can make all the difference.
Challenges:
If you tend to focus on the negative, it can be hard to see the positive around you. You’ll notice your weaknesses before strengths, vices before virtues and find flaws in people and events before their advantages.
This can leave you feeling irritated by minor issues like traffic or the weather, draining your mental energy and peace.
However, with a bit of self-awareness and practice, you can train yourself to shift your perspective and start appreciating the good things in your life. It’s all about adjusting your mindset and choosing to focus on the positive rather than dwelling on the negative.
Here is what you should do:
- Every morning, begin by listing at least three reasons you are thankful for in life. This will help you start your day on a positive note. You will feel the joy of living, the joy of a new morning when you have reasons to be thankful in life. You will be happy and full of positive energy.
- The next is to think of three good qualities about yourself (qualities that you have or would like to have in the future) and try to remember these qualities for the rest of the day. This will force your brain to reflect those qualities.
- If you find yourself criticizing someone, stop right there and think of atleast three good qualities about that person. And if he/she is a stranger, try to think of three reasons why that person behaved in certain manner (Imagine valid situations in which you would behave in a similar manner).
Keep negative emotions away:
Practicing gratitude not only helps you achieve a positive mindset, but it also shifts your attention away from the negative emotions like anger, frustration, envy, resentment, guilt, and self loathing.
Since you force your brain to think positively, there is little room for your brain to dwell over negative emotions.
Challenges:
Negative emotions are normal and can become overpowering when life gets tough or when you are struggling with mental health issues. It can be challenging to see the light of day if you are ruminating over negative feelings.
The key is to recognise the reasons behind these emotions and take action to gradually drift away from them.
Do not suppress your negative emotions. Learn to let these feelings pass without affecting you.
Here is what you should do:
- Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and emotions can help you get a clearer picture of the reasons behind them, thus enabling you to better navigate around them. Journaling is an effective outlet to express any repressed emotions that would otherwise keep your mind occupied.
It frees your mind to turn to positive things in your life.
There are numerous other ways to tackle your negative mindset.
Kindness:
If you are thankful for things and people around you and you appreciate the value they add to your life, you will automatically be kind to them.
Your kindness will extend beyond your immediate circle and to the strangers you meet in daily life.
When you’re looking out for the good in people, you are more likely to help them out.
Challenges:
It may take some practice to build trust in people & their efforts. The media highlighting the negative events like war and crime only serves to exacerbate the mistrust in fellow humans. You may tend to be critical of everyone because you don’t know the intentions of the person next to you.
Here is what you should do:
Remember that there are both good and bad people in this world. Not everyone is out there to get you.
- Think of all the good people around you starting with yourself, your own house and community.
- Notice all the small positive gestures that people display, like saying thank you, opening the door for you, giving up their seat on the bus for you, and people helping strangers on the street.
- Look at the people volunteering at food banks, shelters, animal rescue centers, crisis situations etc.
- If it helps, try to abstain from the negative news in the media. Instead, try to read about all the good that is happening around the world.
Gratitude is the remedy to build more trust in people.
- Volunteer your free time for a good cause. This will help strengthen your trust in people because you will be surrounded by people who are working selflessly to help others. Also, you will feel good about yourself and that will stimulate more positive thoughts and energy.
If you can learn to trust people more and you are kind to them, you will realize that kindness is returned every single day of your life.
Healthy relationships:
Gratitude plays a major role in strengthening interpersonal relationships with your loved ones and in everyday life.
Because you focus on the positive efforts of people, you are inclined to reciprocate some of those efforts, which forms the basis for strong interpersonal bonds.
Be it your spouse, children or a stranger, everyone loves when you appreciate their efforts and reciprocate with more positive efforts, thus creating strong relationships.
Challenges:
It can become very challenging to be appreciative of other people’s efforts if you have had negative experiences with people in the past, especially if someone broke your trust in some way and left you feeling vulnerable and insecure.
It’s okay to be vulnerable. In fact, it is liberating, because now you can open yourself up to a world of new experiences.
Here’s what you should do:
- Use every opportunity to tell your loved ones how much you love them and how much you appreciate them being in your life.
- Tell them how they add value to your life, how they make you the individual you are.
- Tell them how they inspire you to become a better person everyday starting with your parents, spouse, children and friends.
- Write thank you notes or a letter of heartfelt appreciation.
- Spend more time with your loved ones. Plan family trips, go out for movies, and a nice dinner once in a while. Add an element of surprise in your efforts.
- Choose to be happy and joyous.
- Crack jokes, make people laugh.
All these things come naturally when you choose to be grateful.
Appreciate what you have:
When you learn to be appreciative of small things in life, no matter where you are or what situation you are facing, you will always find strength to move forward. You will always find something to be grateful for. And that empowers you to achieve great things regardless of the resources or lack of them.
Challenges:
In this day and age of abundance, we are conditioned to have and want more and more. More money, more possessions, more materialistic things.
The feeling even percolates into our relationships. We want more love and attention from our partners, more this and more that.
But this need of wanting more can leave us unsatisfied despite having more than enough already.
We compare our lives with others (more so now with social media flaunting fake happiness) and decide that the other person has it better and want the same for ourselves without considering what we already have.
What helps me is this:
- Whenever I am tempted to feel the lack of something, I look up to people who are happier despite having much less than I do.
- I look up to those who are able to reach great heights without having nearly as many resources as I have at my disposal.
Over the course of last few years, I’ve come to fully appreciate the magnitude of what I have. People who love me no matter what. Parents who are supportive of my decisions, education I have been able to receive, places I have been able to see etc.
In fact, I have come to realize that having “less is more” because it liberates me to pursue things that I value more.
It grants “freedom.”
- Freedom from having to take care of possessions I don’t need in my life.
- Freedom from feeling tempted to buy new shiny gadgets every time a new product is launched.
- Freedom from having to juggle between social groups that devoid me of my free time.
Close your eyes and thank heavens for everything you have in your life.
If you can’t think of anything, be grateful for this life. Every new day gives you a chance to change your life’s circumstances. Being dead is no good. It’s the end.
Manage stress, anxiety and depression:
It is scientifically proven that people who practice gratitude and are thankful in general, experience less stress, anxiety or depression.
Think about it. We experience these states whenever we feel inadequate and insecure or when we want things we don’t have or when we compare our lives with someone or when we think about the future outcomes.
Gratitude helps alleviate all these by teaching you to be happy in the present, to be happy with what you have, to give back to others and to help others.
Conclusion:
No matter your life’s situation, always be happy and grateful with what you have.
Always be thankful, because there is plenty you can be thankful for.
