Lack of confidence will keep you stuck.

This elephant is tied to the post with a tiny rag, which to his mind is heavier than the anchor of a ship, because he does not believe that he has the strength to free himself.

Likewise, many of us are imprisoned by mediocrity because we lack the confidence in our own abilities. We are stuck in life because we don’t realise what we are capable of achieving.

Lack of confidence is the primary reason that so many people never reach their true potential. It’s because of the lack of confidence that many individuals:

• Spend most of their lives in comfort zone, doing things that they know, where the risk of failure is minimum but so is the reward.
• Settle for less than they dream of.
• Don’t represent their true selves to the world.
• Are afraid of making mistakes or seizing new opportunities in life.
• Will not ask for help thinking that it is a reflection of their inadequacy to not know something.
• Avoid talking to people or seeking new relationships.
• Lack assertive communication and struggle to maintain strong boundaries.
• Cannot take constructive criticism.
• Prioritise others’ need over their own.
• Keep comparing themselves to others.

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One of the major reasons for low confidence is the lack of self belief which in turn is a product of your environment, background and values.

Environment: If you are surrounded by people who criticise and ridicule you for your mistakes or laugh at your failures; or you have parents that compare you to others or have unreasonably high expectations from you; or you are in a school where you are punished for being different; or a workplace that discourages innovation, you will be forced to question your abilities.

Background: History of psychological trauma like betrayal, humiliation, abuse, bullying or rape etc. and psychological disorders like anxiety or depression can be the precursors for self doubt.

Values: Your core beliefs and perceptions dictate how you feel about yourself. If your actions are coherent with your values, you will tend to be a confident person.

Positive values like honesty, integrity, compassion, empathy and forgiveness etc. boost your confidence.

Negative values like greed, envy, selfishness, narcissistic and egotistical behaviour breed self doubt and lower your confidence.

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Low confidence and failure are directly related.

Scenario 1: Low confidence leads to inaction or procrastination until you are no longer motivated to pursue the given task which equals failure.

Scenario 2: You are so full of self doubt that you are always looking to validate your fear of failure.

Example:

Let’s say you want to start a new business but are afraid to do so because you think you are not good enough or you think you don’t have what it takes to succeed at it.

Scenario 1: You never ever start your business.

Scenario 2: You start new business, but instead of learning new skills, learning from your mistakes and learning along the way you will be looking for reasons to doubt yourself, reasons why you were not meant to start the business in the first place and in the process will eventually fail which will strengthen your limiting beliefs.

It’s a vicious circle, a self fulfilling prophecy.

Self doubt and low confidence become the biggest obstacle to your success.

Here’s what you should do to boost your self-confidence?

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1. Exercise: Staying physically active releases endorphins and serotonin that improves your self esteem and confidence.
2. Diet: Eating healthy foods, lots of green vegetables and salads, nuts and grains, protein rich foods and fish positively impacts your self esteem.
3. Mindfulness: Improved self awareness is the key to honing your strengths and eliminating weaknesses.
4. Meditation: It helps you stay calm and composed which are signs of a confident mind. Moreover, this helps improve your self awareness and focus.
5. Stop judging and criticising others: Trying to look for positive attributes in others will help you focus on your own good qualities.
6. Find a reason to believe in yourself: Having a purpose in life gives meaning and direction to the actions you take. It boosts your self esteem and confidence.
7. Take Action: Actions lead to results and results build confidence. All your fears vanish when you take that first step. So starting today, start getting things done.

Conclusion:

I believe in you.

You just have to “believe in yourself.”

“Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself. …

…Believe in yourself, your abilities, and your own potential. Never let self doubt hold you captive.”

-ROY T. BENNETT

Thank you for reading.