Stupidity seems to be my craft now
This is not an act of self-sabotage or self-loathing. I really do feel stupid. If stupidity is a craft, I’m probably the best professional in that area. There’s something my sorry self doesn’t really get. Why is it that it fails to keep to the plan? Why set goals, only for it to watch them crash? This is definitely not the hero self sages and gurus talk about that we are all born with. This instead is the stupid self. It has to be.
— — —
But growth isn’t linear, right? There are so many course corrections, bumps and hunches along the path that leads to happiness, mastery. Maybe I’m just overthinking it.
Still, I feel stupid, and it’s heartbreakingly alarming. Heed to the warning and set sail back, or lure yourself into more stupidity and damnation.
What makes me feel stupid?
I feel stupid whenever I rush the hunt instead of waiting it out. Yes, master the art of bold timing, but there’s also, slow down to go fast. I also feel stupid whenever I get distracted by petty squabbles, and entangling myself into people’s emotional dispositions. Yikes! It’s annoying. What happened to never committing to anyone? What happened to the knowledge that human beings are the source of pains? Is just stupidity. That’s what happened.
— — —
I’ll tell you this: you’re the creator of your own reality. It’s your life. Save your space, save your time. Don’t hand them out to people who are not deserving of them. Untangle yourself, as soon as possible. Feel jealous? Detach from that too. Your own time will come. Is easy to feel intimidated, or to lose your sense of purpose while staring at other people’s accomplishments, without having any that you can call your own. Come out from that. Simplicity is bliss. You’re doing your very best, and sooner than later, the goddess of good luck will visit you.
— — —
For some time now, I’ve been genuinely asking myself what I want most out of life. Sure, there are a bunch of things in my head, but the more I think about it, the more I want to stray away from those thoughts. Instinctively, they’re facades, transient, and ephemeral. Somehow, I’m rather drawn in by something that’s eagerly seeking to find expression in me. Though the light is dim now, but it’s nudging at my heart, seeking full colonization. I can’t describe it aptly myself. Whether it’s inner peace, or calmness, or simplicity … I can’t exactly tell, but one thing I’m sure of is that is the only thing I want more than any other thing in this world.
Welcome back to the community! If you’re not a part yet, please click the follow button below so you’ll be the first to receive latest feeds. As always, love and light ;)
