Trauma, Triggers, and Feminism
Many of us have experienced stress and extreme shock, leading to trauma and triggers that have profoundly shaped our lives and core values. Some of us emerge stronger, using these experiences to grow, while others regress, allowing the trauma to define them and in turn embody the characteristics of those who traumatized them. But we also have to realize that individual personality plays a role when we go through experiences in life, and this defines how these experiences will in turn impact us.
This raises a critical question: what does this have to do with feminism?
Healing from trauma is a personal journey, and individuals move through this process at their own pace. However, in some cases, trauma becomes normalized and even passed down through generations. For example, mothers who endured traumatic marriages, childbirth experiences, or child-rearing challenges may pass on a tradition of silence to their daughters and granddaughters. The message is often: "I went through this, so it's normal or you will go through it." This perpetuates harmful cycles, as if suffering is an inherent part of womanhood.
When some people try to fight back against these traumas, they find it difficult to leave the environment that hurt them thereby they continue to live in a trigger induced environment that deepens their trauma on a daily basis.
Instead of breaking free to heal, they stay in their familiar pain. Whereas, the journey of healing requires stepping outside the trigger zone, to begin finding oneself, and seeing the world beyond one's trauma.
The public narrative around modern-day feminism has strayed from its roots. It’s been oversimplified into a smear campaign about women hating men and not wanting to perform house chores. This has led to the overshadowing of the true African Feminism movement.
What is true African feminism? Before colonialism and patriarchy reshaped gender roles, many African societies functioned with empowered women contributing to a balanced social structure. Feminism is not about hating men; it’s about reclaiming space for women to thrive, just as they did before external forces distorted that balance.
Yes, there are bad men. But equally, there are bad women. It’s not a gender issue—it’s a people issue. We must recognize that good and bad exist in all forms, and we shouldn't let trauma blind us to the existence of good people, both in men and in women.
With the introduction of social media platforms encouraging people to share what's on their minds, many feel entitled to attack others with little thought. Unfortunately, negativity dominates these spaces, drowning out the voices of those who live positively. Good news rarely makes headlines because fear, chaos, and disorganization are what sell. Positive stories about men and women working together to change society are often overlooked.
This is where traumas and triggers play a large role, African feminism has been watered down to who can hate or portray disdain of men and who can do it loud and aggressively. Most women who have embodied the hijacked version of African feminism fight from a place of hurt and pain, rather than from a place of clarity and a cause for liberation.
What most of these women fail to see, is that they are most likely fighting, wounded and blinded by their trauma and how easily they are triggered to fall into that cycle of pain and hurt. Also, they may fail to see or already identify with the intention to attain power to dominate the same system that hurt them. And who would be at the receiving end like they were, men!
We need more people to speak up for balance—to remind us that good people exist in this world. While the media may prioritize the distribution of hatred, self destruction and discord among men and women, we must seek out and amplify stories of hope and collaboration. Only then can we foster a more balanced perspective and move towards true healing, and gender equity.
