When we lack fame, a career, possessions, and even friends and family, who are we? What defines us?
The truth is, my life has been disorganized lately. I experience a range of emotions – happiness, curiosity, fear, excitement, and sometimes, a feeling of being down or vibrant.
At times, I believe our mindset influences these emotions. Yet, on days when I feel particularly low or unmotivated, those inspirational quotes and words vanish as if I've never heard them before. I forget the uplifting words that once resonated with me.
In moments of solitude, the world seems to question me, asking, "What are you now? Who are you?" I find myself speechless, facing the ultimate question: Who am I, really?
One day, my inner self confronted me, asking, "Hey, what's going on, girl? What are your plans?" I realized I was distracted by numerous things. Disconnecting from people, friends included, was challenging, and I admit I behaved poorly by avoiding their attempts to connect.
I yearned to detach from the world and be alone with my thoughts again. Initially, when I started working, it felt like I was sacrificing my life. It brought tears to my eyes. However, I believe it opened my eyes to things I had been blind to. Nature became a source of solace; gazing at green leaves momentarily revived me. I felt alive again!
Disconnecting from external distractions allowed me to see clearly what I want – to live, embracing life despite the inevitability of death and facing problems head-on. I rediscovered myself during moments of introspection, unwinding, sleeping, watching movies, series, reading books, and engaging in meaningful conversations (before distancing myself from the world). I reflected on my desires, shed tears without them falling, and questioned what I truly want.
Comparing my life to others, I wondered if I desired a life similar to theirs, not to imitate but to understand their mindset. I pondered how to control my tendency to talk excessively to loved ones. To avoid becoming toxic, I considered creating distance. While a philosopher suggested friends should bother each other, I disagreed, believing we carry our own burdens.
Reflection.
In the end, I am just a human being. I feel pain when it’s painful, sadness when I’m sad.I hope for happiness soon, to be fully alive, and I extend these wishes to you as well.
I made a video of this on my YouTube Channel:
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Email → qwistinestudio@gmail.com
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