Approaching Single Moms: Is It Okay?
Insights from Single Moms on Being Approached While with Their Kids
The dating world as a middle-aged single parent can be challenging. A common question among single dads, like the original poster (OP)-One_Ganache1968, is whether it’s appropriate to approach single moms when they are out with their children. This blog explores perspectives from single moms on this issue.
Original Post:
“For example, today I (43M) was out with my kid at Target and ran into, a couple of times, an attractive woman with her child. We shared a few laughs and smiles. I considered maybe engaging in a convo about maybe grabbing a coffee sometime if she were single (she wasn’t wearing a wedding band). But I felt that because she was with her child, that it wasn’t appropriate.
My question, for the single moms, do you not want to be approached in the wild if you’re with your child?”
Reactions from Single Moms
Fun and Playful Reactions
Many single moms found humor and lightness in the idea of being approached while with their kids. They highlighted how their children, especially teens, might react to such situations with amusement and teasing.
Slapstick01 mom shared, “My daughter is in her teens now and finds nothing more hilarious than if/when I get approached by men in public. It provides her with enough content for about 1000 inside jokes and reenactments.”
BeautyBlais36 echoed, “Lol and that would make both my daughters’ days seeing a guy try to talk to me…at 16 and 18 they both would not only be smiling but definitely quiz me later like I’m new to this or something…lol”
The playful responses indicate that some moms and their children might enjoy and even bond over the interaction.
Open to Being Approached
Several single moms expressed that they were open to being approached as long as it was done respectfully and appropriately, even if their children were present.
Paleontheday noted, “I think as long as I’m approached in a respectful manner especially with a kid in tow, regardless of age, I wouldn’t be offended/ bothered by it.”
Mamamojo45 agreed, saying, “I wouldn’t mind someone approaching me to chat in a respectful manner if my son was present; I think it’s just another way to teach him human interaction.”
These responses suggest that respectful approaches can be appreciated and seen as a positive interaction.
Neutral or Cautious Responses
Some single moms were neutral or cautious about being approached with their kids, emphasizing the need for context and appropriateness.
Infamous_Mum67 advised, “Travel with pen and paper. Hand her your number (‘spontaneously’) and let her decide whether to contact you. As a single mom who is with my kid a lot of the time, it would make me feel flattered to have been approached, but not pressured into committing to anything, and not having to analyze what was happening while keeping my primary attention where it needs to be — on my kid.”
Cloud009a mom shared, “I would love to be approached but not if I was with my kids, unless you were able to talk to me away from them.”
These responses highlight a preference for subtle and non-intrusive approaches that respect the presence of children.
Negative Experiences
Some single moms shared negative experiences and emphasized the importance of respecting boundaries and the presence of children.
JustCant17 recounted, “I’ve been approached when with my kid with me and it felt very uncomfortable and annoying. One time at a restaurant/bar. The guy came up to our table and SAT down and asked for my number. Ugh. One time at a grocery store. We were walking out and this guy said TO my kid ‘you have a hot mom’. So gross. I called him out on that one.”
Neonlite45 emphasized, “Yeah that last one is definitely an example of what NOT to do in the situation. Definitely don’t talk to the kid about wanting to date their parent, especially before talking to the parent, that’s fucking weird.”
These responses underline the importance of discretion and sensitivity when approaching single moms in public.
Takeaway
Approaches to single moms requires sensitivity and respect, especially when children are present. Here’s what we’re taking away:
- Respectful Approach: Be polite and considerate, ensuring that the mom feels comfortable.
- Subtlety: Use non-intrusive methods, such as offering a contact card, to avoid putting pressure on the mom.
- Context Awareness: Be mindful of the situation and the mom’s comfort level with her child present.
- Communication: Respect boundaries and prioritize appropriate conversation starters.
Tips to Start the Conversation
Here are three ways to open the dialogue with your partner:
- Acknowledge the Scenario: “I understand it might feel odd being approached with your child, but I’d love to get to know you better.”
- Suggest an Alternative: “Would it be okay if I gave you my number so you can decide if you want to reach out?”
- Respect Boundaries: “I don’t want to intrude on your time with your kid, but if you’re open to it, maybe we could chat another time.”
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