Expecting Timely Responses in Online Dating
How Long Should You Wait for a Response?
Online dating can be tricky, especially when it comes to response time expectations. One user, the original poster Breeze_Sail (OP), shared their experience on this topic, sparking a lively discussion about whether it’s reasonable to expect someone to respond within 24 hours. Here’s what they had to say:
“I’m curious to know what other people’s experience is. I matched with a guy on Bumble, and we exchanged a few messages, questions, back & forth etc. My last response to him was at noon yesterday, and today at 7 pm, he still hasn’t responded. So I unmatched. He seemed to be active, so I know it’s not because he hasn’t opened the app. I am of the opinion that if he was truly interested, he would have responded back sooner; hence he’s not really interested. I would expect the max to be 24 hours between each person’s message, otherwise, it makes it hard to keep the conversation going. Am I crazy here?”
The OP’s stance on timely communication drew a range of responses, from full agreement to strong disagreement. Let’s break down the different perspectives shared by other daters.
Giving People Time
Some daters felt it was important to give others more time to respond. They acknowledged that life can get busy, and responding right away isn’t always possible.
Nova_Heart45 added, “I give people a lot of latitude on apps and rarely unmatch unless someone is being awful. People don’t know you and really shouldn’t be making a random person a priority in their lives, especially pre-date.”
These daters were willing to be patient, understanding that sometimes life gets in the way. They weren’t quick to cut off potential connections simply because a response was delayed. It can be helpful to give others grace and not immediately jump to conclusions about their interest based on response times.
Expecting Timely Communication
On the other hand, some daters believed that quick responses are a sign of respect and genuine interest. For them, timely communication showed that someone was engaged and serious about getting to know the other person.
The_Quandry55 explained, “I’m of the belief that timely communication shows respect and interest. I give about 48 hours, or an extra day if I think we might be a really good match if we have chatted a bit. But after that time period, then I bail.”
Bridge_To_Far added, “While I’m getting to know someone, I think it’s reasonable to respond within 24 hours. I wouldn’t necessarily unmatch, but wouldn’t chase them either.”
These individuals placed a high value on consistent communication and felt that delays could signal disinterest. For some, prompt replies are an indicator of mutual interest, and they may move on if they don’t see that effort reciprocated.
Balancing Patience and Expectations
Others found themselves somewhere in the middle, trying to balance patience with their expectations. They understood that life happens, but they also valued thoughtful communication.
As 60_Mph said, “Eh, people have lives. It has nothing to do with interest. Sometimes I want to gather my thoughts and give a more thoughtful reply. Quality over timeliness is more important for me when messaging.”
Social_Alt02 added, “If OP was actually interested, they wouldn’t write someone off so quickly. People are busy! Not all of us are attached to our phones and can constantly be messaging back.”
These daters acknowledged the realities of modern life but also recognized the value of meaningful conversation over rushed replies. Thoughtful communication sometimes takes time, and balancing patience with reasonable expectations can lead to stronger connections.
Takeaway
Online dating expectations, especially regarding response times, requires a balanced approach. Here’s what we’re taking away:
- Be Patient: Understand that life gets busy and people might not respond immediately.
- Communicate Expectations: Let your match know your preferences for communication early on.
- Gauge Interest Over Time: Look for consistent engagement rather than immediate responses.
- Respect Boundaries: Give space and time for thoughtful replies without jumping to conclusions.
Tips to Start the Conversation
Here are three ways to open the dialogue with your partner:
- Share Your Feelings: “I value timely communication and wanted to understand your perspective on response times. Can we find a balance that works for both of us?”
- Suggest a Schedule: “I understand we both have busy lives. How about we aim to reply within 24 hours unless something urgent comes up?”
- Encourage Honesty: “If you need more time to respond, just let me know. I appreciate open communication and want us to be comfortable sharing our schedules.”
Happy Dating!
