The Chainsmokers, two people that we care about now, are back in the news because we care about them and also because something happened. We’re not exactly sure what happened, but oh it was something! Whatever it was. What was it? An investigation:

So, we’ve narrowed it down to two things, and it’s one of the two things (it can’t be both). How can we be sure what happened? Perhaps by looking to the past we can predict, or at least contextualize, the future. Or the present. Or actually, the more recent past than the past that we’re referring back to. (Stay with me here)

The Chainsmokers and Halsey (Ed. note: Halsey isn’t Hayley from Paramore. I know, it’s confusing) collaborated on the smash hit “Closer” about the tattoo on your shoulder and the mattress that you stole from your roommate back in Boulder we ain’t ever getting older duh duh duh duh duh Oh sorry anyway — that song. And then:

The Chainsmokers began to get more press, and with more press, they began to say things. Like when they told us to stop calling them bros (right after they said they were bros) (as well as a ton of weird problematic stuff about women) anyway, Rolling Stone asked them about Lady Gaga’s “Perfect Illusion” and Drew said, “It sucks.” Damn, dude. So when Lady Gaga dropped “A-Yo” she tweeted at The Chainsmokers with: “maybe u guys’ll like this 1 better ✌️️🚬🚬🚬🚬#NowPlaying” because what do bros hate more than being called bros? Being called out on something they said publicly or otherwise openly admitted to.

So Halsey tweeted “Lady Gaga is an icon and forever one of my greatest idols. I can’t wait to see where her new era takes us. #JOANNE” AND THEN DREW TWEETED (or did he?) back at her “f*** you bald bitch” like a shooting star: only online for limited time before it was immediately deleted. Drew said that the screenshots were fake, but a video surfaced with proof that the tweet DID exist. THEN DREW CHANGED HIS STORY saying that it wasn’t that the screenshots were fake, it’s that he was hacked. He tweeted: “Guys calm down my account was hacked. I would NEVER tweet anything like that to one of my friends”


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