HOW CAN WE HOPE FOR WORLD PEACE WHEN WE CAN’T EVEN DECIDE WHAT TIME IT IS?
Listen, I’m a progressive thinker. And don’t you ever accuse me of not being open-minded. (You can trust me because I’m very upfront with how noble and true my thoughts are) But listen: we have to be realistic: twenty-four timezones? Really? Do you need all of those or are you just being greedy?
Look, I love arguing about what time it is just as much as the next guy. But I’m thinking longterm, big picture stuff here. What we need more than ever is unity. We need togetherness. Call it what you want: world peace, a universal phone charger port, another Miley Cyrus album before 2018, we all want the same thing. Peace and Love on earth (with an unlimited supply of seltzer).
How are we ever going to achieve this lofty goal if we can’t even decide what time it is? Right now there are twenty-four dueling answers, twenty-four choices we have wade through before we agree on a time. And even then, what time is it? Oh yeah, SAYS WHO?