What Pops Taught Me About True Love
When I first asked my Mom about how she knew my Dad was the one for her, she answered, “I don’t know, I just knew.” “But how would you know if someone is your one true love?”, I asked again. Mom answered, “When it’s the right time, you’ll just know.”
“You’ll just know.”
Growing up, that’s the most common answer I get from people when talking about finding love at first sight, meeting soulmates, or finally realizing their partner is their true love. That and many other answers from online tests and surveys which tell me who I’m supposedly compatible with based on my likes and dislikes.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not discrediting what my Mom said. I totally believe her. And I’m not saying the online tests and surveys are completely bogus. It’s just that these made me ask a lot more questions.
It’s a different story with my Pops though. He’s the only one who gave me a different answer.
I vividly remember the only time we talked about this. I came home from the university for the summer break. I was telling him about this guy from school that I really liked. At that time, I was so sure that I would only like guys who were either 1. an athlete 2. an artist 3. an actor 4. a model or 5. a musician. So you see, I was that boxed in. And this guy was four out of five from the list! I went on and on until I finally joked, “What if he could be the one, Pops? My true love?”
He didn’t react. But he told me this: “Your true love must be the person who inspires you to be the best version of yourself.” And this has remained with me from that day forward.
Because Pops was right.
Your true love is not always the one you’ve known for years or been with the longest.
Your true love is not always the one who’s been with you through highs and lows and everything in between.
Your true love is not always your first text in the morning or last call at night.
This person is not always the one who gives you the most expensive presents or treats you to the nicest places.
This person is not always the one who you have the best chemistry with or who calls you their soulmate.
And most definitely, this person is not always the one who ticks off all the crazy standards you’ve noted down.
Your true love is the one who appreciates you for who you truly are, not what you are or what you do or what you have.
Your true love is the one who respects you and all that matters to you.
At times when you fall short, your true love reminds you of your whys and pushes you to keep going.
This person walks with you, tall and proud, as you go after all your goals and dreams.
This person inspires you to do your best and be your best.
This person reminds you to love yourself first, to invest in yourself.
This person is someone honest and unafraid to tell you your truths, especially at times when you forget them.
This person supports you all the way. When you want to slow down, to do things at your own pace, or to hustle and grind it out, your true love is right there with you and for you.
Most importantly, this person is someone who you’re comfortable with, who you can be your true self — flaws and all. Someone who feels like home.
Because your true love is someone who complements you, not complete you.
And love, true love, does not determine who you become, but nurtures who you already are.
And it is my wish for you and me, for all of us, that we find our true love. Just as my Pops did.
Much Love,
Tricia ❤
