Satire

Biden Marks First Day in Office with Flurry of Complete Sentences

America surprises with return to coherency

Bob James
Bob James
Jan 22 · 1 min read
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Photo Arlington National Cemetery on Flickr

Joe Biden has put a stamp on his first day in office with a barrage of full sentences. The moment has not gone unnoticed, with leaders across the globe praising Biden’s leadership.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel called it a notable achievement so early in his presidency, and one that is full of promise.

French president Emmanuel Macron referred to the moment he was able to follow the US president’s train of thought as one that will remain with him forever. “What we’ve witnessed today is a giant step forward for America and the world,” he said. “I look forward to many more words in a row that make sense.”

Pedro Sanchez of Spain referred to it as a pleasure, and expressed confidence that the trend of sentences from the White House that he can follow along with will continue.

“I see a bright future ahead,” he said. “One where we can return to having a clue as to what the American president is talking about.”

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