MuddyUm
Published in

MuddyUm

WAXING GREEN

Don’t Date the Man with the Green Thumb

How did that plant die, mama?

Photo by Marlon Schmeiski from Pexels adapted by Canva

This morning, I buried my lavender plant. I played my bagpipes. I eulogized it, focusing on its positive attributes like it smelled classy and before it dried out, it had solid limb structure.

I tried to keep it alive. I resuscitated it several times while it sat on my…

--

--

--

Bootleg Humor Since 1720. The premier place for, and fastest growing humor publication on Medium. Experience the MuddyUm difference. We support all types of humor and comedy writing and illustrations. We publish fast. We edit well. Run by a ship full of Pastafarian Pirates.

Recommended from Medium

Photo Story #EarthDay2022 🌎

We Apologize For The Lack Of Ghosts On Our Walking Ghost Tour

I Only Write With One Sentence Paragraphs to Cater to Mobile Readers

How to Write Fake Quotes and Attribute Them to Famous People

Walking in Thursdays, Week 10

Viral video of Blessing Okoro flaunting her bare body after plastic surgery (video)

Screenplay Scene With a ChatBot: “The Babysitter” (Girl with Bot Child)

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Amy Sea

Amy Sea

16 X Top Writer, Editor— Comedian, Satirist, Humorist, Top Writer. Publisher of Breast Stories. Follow my pub https://medium.com/boobs-breasts-and-mammaries

More from Medium

The Weirdest 80th Birthday Toast Response Ever

My Second Husband, My Best Friend, and Me

Six Shocking Truths About Doc Funny Meetings

What Would Buddha, Jesus, and Gandhi Do if the YMCA Couldn’t Find Their Membership On File?