Published in



From The Rolling Stones To Kidney Stones In A Blink Of An Eye

You can’t stop it, so you might as well enjoy it!

Photo by Vale Arellano on Unsplash

One day you go to bed without any wrinkles and wake up wondering what kind of little bird left those imprints near your eyes and in the corners of your mouth.




Bootleg Humor Since 1720. The premier place for, and fastest growing humor publication on Medium. Experience the MuddyUm difference. We support all types of humor and comedy writing and illustrations. We publish fast. We edit well. Run by a ship full of Pastafarian Pirates.

Recommended from Medium

Disguised As A Male Secretary

Finding the Funny


What I Imagine The Fleetwood Mac Tour Bus Is Like

Oil-Free Vegan Creamy Blue Cheese Dressing

Bursting the World’s Bubbles, One Prick at A Time

If You Do These 3 Things On Vacation, You Might Be An Asshole

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Janie Emaus

Janie Emaus

Janie Emaus is an author/blogger. ON SALE NOW! Latkes for Santa Claus.

More from Medium

My Neighbors Forced Me To Consider Eternal Damnation

What Happened On Dutch Bumble

Photo of two sets of feet in sneakers saying “Passion led us here”

Remember when Window Shopping was an Outing.

This Valentine’s Day, Roses And Chocolates are Not For Me!