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Nike Really Does Care, You Guys!


Do you see it, guys?! #StopAsianHate in the bio! I’m about to go buy another pair of Nikes! (Twitter)

Hey guys! It’s me, your resident Asian. Sure, I’m Pakistani, so I’m not the first Asian you think of when you hear “Asian-American”, but guess what? I still had to put Asian on all of my standardized exams my whole life, so…if the American government groups us all together, so can you!

I mean, it’s not like we have a problem with racism in America, especially with Asian-Americans lately. Wait, what? We do?

I just wanted to alert everyone to the fact that Nike truly is an amazing company. I mean, have you guys seen their Twitter bio recently?

#StopAsianHate. They care, okay?! They care about Asians, they have to!

They care a lot. They put the hashtag in their Twitter bio, so it’s official.

I know, I know. You’re saying, “But Hammad, isn’t this the same Nike company with its own Wikipedia article called “Nike sweatshops” due to decades of allegations against them for having sweatshops in Taiwan, South Korea, and China rife with child labor and verbal/physical abuse?

Okay, but like, look at their Twitter bio, dude. The last time I checked, I can still read, and it obviously says #StopAsianHate so they’re definitely with the cause. It’s not like they’re pulling a CFA with the LGBT community. They totally care about Asian rights dude, I’m sure they don’t even have any sweatshops over there anymore.

Or if they do, they’re probably not working kids for like 14 hours a day anymore or whatever! They probably wait till they’re of legal working age so it’s not technically child labor then to work ’em for like 12 hours a day! Yeah, but it’s almost their equivalent of minimum wage; it’s not like they would’ve made much more anywhere else anyways!

And no, fake woke reader, I’m not just taking Nike’s side because I wear a pair of red Nikes every day and those are my only pair of closed-toed shoes at the moment. Somehow it was 43°F today in Atlanta. I don’t know either.

Yeah, I’ll burn my Nikes…I just have to find a company that doesn’t utilize any unfair labor or environmental practices while selling a durable sneaker of high quality. Yeah, I’ll probably have to skip my workout today. Damn it. Oh well. Such is the price of being woke, right?

No, Grammarly, I didn’t mean “being waking”. I meant woke. Wake up. Take a page from Nike’s social media employee. It’s 2021, fam. Smh.




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Hammad A. Khalid

Hammad A. Khalid

Reader | Writer | Thinker | Lifelong Learner | Curated in Health, Startups, Writing, Productivity, TV & more

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