Published in

MuddyUm

Jan 4

5 min read

NoMY RESOLUTION IS 1920 X 1080

Resolutions Are For Simps, Blood Oaths Are This Years Self-Help Must-Haves

I resolve to make a stronger commitment to my commitments

Photo by Mikhail Nilov from Pexels image by Hogan Torah

New years is bullshit. An overhyped meaningless holiday stolen from the Jews. New years eve is bigger bullshit. Jews don’t do that. That’s an American construct. They…

--

More from MuddyUm

Bootleg Humor Since 1720. The premier place for, and fastest growing humor publication on Medium. Experience the MuddyUm difference. We support all types of humor and comedy writing and illustrations. We publish fast. We edit well. Run by a ship full of Pastafarian Pirates.

Read more from MuddyUm

Recommended from Medium

LingQ.com

in

LingQ

Can You Figure Out These 15 Canadian French Expressions?

Jake Davey

Your “Best of” Lists Stink: An ode to the Outdoor Shower

Le Voir N. Lewis

in

ILLUMINATION

Shave It Off

Kevin Weatherman

in

LeverHealth

Featured class: The Buildup with Yusuf

Affiliate marketing

The 11 Best Facial Cleansing Brushes of 2020 — Clear Skin And Skin Care — Hair And Beauty

The 11 Best Facial Cleansing Brushes of 2020 - Clear Skin And Skin Care - Hair And Beauty

J. Silva

5 hobbies for the self-loathing crowd

Shirley Chau

Hello World! And Welcome to 2021 :)

Christine Schoenwald

in

MuddyUm

I’m Your Guardian Angel & I’m Giving You My Two Weeks Notice

About Help Terms Privacy

Get the Medium app

Hogan Torah

Hogan Torah

Has shit in his bio.

More from Medium

Reuben Salsa

in

The Haven

I’m Socially Awkward and Hate Old Men in Speedos

Jean Campbell

in

MuddyUm

10 Reasons Your Landlord Sucks

Bev Potter

Indiana Jones and the Quest for My Boss’s Wife’s W-2

Smillew Rahcuef

in

Fuck Niches

6 Reasons Why I Hate Wordle

Help
Status
Writers
Blog
Careers
Privacy
Terms
About
Knowable