Humor

Scientists Unearth the Founder of Personal Development

Preaching the productivity gospel since the Paleolithic Period

Bashar Salame
May 6 · 2 min read
Photo by Carolina Munemasa on Unsplash

These days you can throw a stone in practically any direction and hit someone claiming to be a life coach, personal development specialist, or self-help guru.

That wasn’t always the case.

Sure, today’s global personal development market may have an estimated value of $40 Billion USD, but like most things before, it had humble beginnings.

In studying fossil records, cave drawings, and other historical remnants, archeologists have identified the ‘father of self-help’, a who roamed the African Savanna some 300,000 years ago.

They believe he adopted the name, wore a man-bun, and grew an interesting array of facial hair.

roamed the land, spreading his wisdom far and wide.

Many didn’t know it then, but was laying the groundwork for a completely new way of thinking; a philosophy centered in positivity, manifestation, reflection, and most of all, nutrition.

Through rough translations of various historical findings, archeologists attributed the following quotes to :

A Stoic before, believed in seeking wisdom; but as, or more importantly, he believed in seeking specific types of food.

During his time, food availability and scarcity governed every aspect of life.

To be wise, is to eat food.
To be rich, is to have food.
To be generous, is to give food.
To be virtuous, is to save food.

But not just any food. laid the foundations for the diet that bears his name; of course.

also believed in waking up before sunrise, sleeping just after sunset, and always checking for wild animals near his cave.

Historians now believe may have very well been responsible for spreading across the earth. One reason for this, his fellow felt he was too ‘’ and ‘just ’.

A translation found in Indonesia, thousands of miles away from the birthplace of roughly reads:

While sabertooths are no longer a threat, would be happy knowing his diet lives on. And in some regions, so too does his philosophy.

MuddyUm

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