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MuddyUm

Bootleg Humor Since 1720. The premier place for funny — the fastest growing humor pub on Medium. Experience the MuddyUm difference. We support all types of humor and comedy writing and illustrations. We publish fast. We edit well. Run by a ship full of Pastafarian Pirates.

Click the ant’s thorax to see new print version of MuddyUm’s “antology”!

Click the ant’s thorax to see new print version of MuddyUm’s “antology”!

Chronos, the God of Time, Has Your February/March Writing Prompts

Chronos, the God of Time, Has Your February/March Writing Prompts

Timeliness is next to godliness

Jan 27

You Don’t Have Enough Bodies Buried in Your Yard

You Don’t Have Enough Bodies Buried in Your Yard

We’re going to ruin your stupid reputation, cause it’s boring

Jan 26

MuddyUm Trashed My Airbnb

MuddyUm Trashed My Airbnb

Putting put the pieces of our lives back together

Hewlett Patterson Linkwater

Jan 26

You Just Dropped Your 14-Year-Old Daughter Off at a Boy’s House and are FINE With It Because You’re

You Just Dropped Your 14-Year-Old Daughter Off at a Boy’s House and...

Absolutely, completely, thoroughly, positively, totally fine with it.

Courtney Essary

Jan 26

Why Toddlers Are an Essential Part of Any Heist Crew

Why Toddlers Are an Essential Part of Any Heist Crew

A pint-sized approach to high crime

Christopher Massimine

Jan 26

Who Is Mom’s Friend’s Son

Who Is Mom’s Friend’s Son

A mysterious creature from the Korean parenting tradition

Jan 26

FBI Seize Bush Paintings And Dick Cheney’s Heart, No Ivana

FBI Seize Bush Paintings And Dick Cheney’s Heart, No Ivana

Dick Cheney has a heart full of classified information

Jan 26

The Earth’s Core Stopped Spinning-Aw Shit? Or Hell Yeah!

The Earth’s Core Stopped Spinning-Aw Shit? Or Hell Yeah!

Jan 25

Dear Costco Virgin, Is It Really Your First Time At Costco?

Dear Costco Virgin, Is It Really Your First Time At Costco?

I’m too sexy for this store

Jan 25

Has Anybody Seen My Rectum?

Has Anybody Seen My Rectum?

Lost it? We can help

Jan 25

We Planned on Dropping Dead in Golf Carts — We Didn’t Plan On Exercising Forever

We Planned on Dropping Dead in Golf Carts — We Didn’t Plan On Exerc...

No pain no mortal coil

Jan 24

Six Things to Do When Your Wife’s Not Talking To You

Six Things to Do When Your Wife’s Not Talking To You

Make silent treatment a silent retreat

Jan 24

Treacherous Path of the Full Prone Warrior

Treacherous Path of the Full Prone Warrior

Mastering the high-wire discipline of restorative Savasana

Jan 24

Yes, I Would Like All Available Upsells During My Drive Thru Oil Change

Yes, I Would Like All Available Upsells During My Drive Thru Oil Ch...

Are you smarter than a ninth grader?

Jan 24

Cut the Crap With the Muffins, Missy

Cut the Crap With the Muffins, Missy

My rant about some lunatic and her damn muffins

Jan 24

Introducing Stephanagrams

Introducing Stephanagrams

Because the world needs this and you know it

Stephanie Wilson

Jan 23

Dear Woman With Perfect Skin Who Thinks I Need a Facial

Dear Woman With Perfect Skin Who Thinks I Need a Facial

Are you mad? I can’t tell.

Jan 23

Justice Kavanaugh’s New Memoir Bombshell Allegation of Missing Penis

Justice Kavanaugh’s New Memoir Bombshell Allegation of Missing Penis

Justice Kavanaugh’s penis, Little Brett, appears to be missing.

Jan 23

The Land of Nose-Blowing and Sneezing

The Land of Nose-Blowing and Sneezing

Sneezing and nose-blowing, Germany’s biggest social problem, pre-pandemic

Jan 23

Detective Noir, We will Find You

Detective Noir, We will Find You

Writers’ Stalk Newsletter #10

Jan 23

The Ten Commandments of Parenthood

The Ten Commandments of Parenthood

Thou shalt read this and be entertained

Jan 23

Whatever Happens, Never Admit You Did It

Whatever Happens, Never Admit You Did It

Pride first, innit?

Jan 22

I Won’t Read Obituaries Until It’s My Own

I Won’t Read Obituaries Until It’s My Own

And it better be funny or I’m out

Jan 22

Do You Love Flying and Think It’s Meant To Be Fun?

Do You Love Flying and Think It’s Meant To Be Fun?

Fly Crapo Airlines for a new experience

Jan 22

Oy Vey, Adjusting To They

Oy Vey, Adjusting To They

“What’s your sign?” has been replaced

Jan 22

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