What makes a good leader?

My grandparents always thought managers were evil. Even if I call them “leaders”. It does not change a bit.

The managers stand above all the people in the company with the whip, ready to strike anyone who is not in line with the company process, who comes late, who starts talking instead of working hard, and who wants to leave earlier because of the kindergarten. They do not talk to the team out of passion, they just split the work, set deadlines, control every bit of what is being done, and punish everyone as people do not deserve praise.

Explaining modern leadership in this context by saying “it's similar to management” does not help. So I started from the ground.

Why do we need leaders?

Some time ago we were used to a dogma, that only managers know everything. And we even expected them to know everything.

However, we are coming to a realization, that it’s not the management. It’s not the few who know everything. It’s the people, regardless of their role. So how do we make sure, that the people are heard and they have space to share their experiences, think out loud, experiment, fail, and learn, and thus help the organization to evolve?

That’s why we need leaders. Formal and informal. It is not always about the role. It is about what a leader does. It is about him or her getting the best and most out of the people around.

Now, I do not mean making people stay at work for twelve hours instead of eight. I’m talking about utilization.

The way to get more out of people is not only to add hours or resources.

How do the leaders “do it”?

If you google “how to be a good leader” you will find lots of stuff to read and think about. However, there is not a single article or book that provides the only approach to good leadership. It depends on the context, the things like:

• the environment you are in,
• the people around you,
• your personality and values,
• your strengths,
• your mindset (fixed or growth),
• and other.

The more experience, skills, knowledge, and information the leaders have, the more options they have when considering how to lead in certain organizations, contexts, and situations.

What are the key approaches of good leaders?

Involve and listen

The leaders are not the ones who come up with a great idea and make everyone execute it. They facilitate the discussion, ask questions to which they need the answers, and challenge the team to think outside of the box. The leaders explain why we are doing certain things, what is the background, why certain decisions are not in the team’s hands. The leaders share the know-how, thought processes, and reasoning.

Once the team is speaking, the leaders' goal is to understand their point of view, dig deeper, and examine and challenge the root of their beliefs. Not because the leaders do not trust them or think the team’s ideas are not worthy. But to understand how they perceive reality and what options they see (which the leaders might not have considered yet).

Challenge and give the space

The leaders are not here to please people. That does not mean they are here to make their life miserable though. The leaders understand the capabilities of the people in the team and their goals and visions. The leaders also understand the company goals and visions and challenge people in this joint direction. However, sometimes these two directions might not be that close. The leaders ask what is the stretch goal, reframe the problem into a challenge, and create a starting point. The leaders let people fill in the unknown.

Once there is a buy-in, the leaders give space to think, try things out, fail, succeed, and fail again. The leaders’ goal is not to check the progress hourly, nor to help with everything that does not work yet. The leaders’ role is to help by asking the right questions, setting the directions, and giving feedback.

Give feedback and praise

The leaders have, at least, two tools to lead the team:

• the feedback
• the vision

The leaders’ goal is to create and nurture the feedback culture in the team. Not only to share the feedback themselves. Through leading by example, the leaders encourage the team to share feedback in any direction. The goal is to discuss different situations and their perceived impact on the team and people around them. The leaders understand it is up to the people to do something (or nothing) about the feedback. The situation-behavior-impact framework might help with the leaders’ preparation.

Once there is a reason to celebrate (there always is), the leaders make sure the team feels the praise — from the leader, from the company, from one another in the team. The leaders ensure the credit for the job goes to the team, even if the leaders’ ego might not agree with that.

On a reason to celebrate, especially when creating such culture — it’s not about huge milestones. It’s about recognizing basic stuff like explaining new things to a colleague, helping someone with laptop issues, taking the initiative with the new task, organizing the team breakfast, taking a personal interest in a colleague who seems upset, you name it…

We all see good stuff happening, we just do not recognize it out loud.

You, the wannabe leader, what are you going to start with?