“Mundane Alley”, a new Medium publication.
Where we examine the every day in unnecessary and painful detail.
What is the opposite of mundane? Never mind, I’ll google it real quick.
Back.
Apparently “wonderful”, “exciting” and “supernatural” all apply.
I don’t care about wonderful and exciting and whatever qualifies as a supernatural thing.
Give me “under the radar”, “boring” and “monotonous”. Because within the walls of boring lies wonderful and exciting and oft times, the supernatural.
That is my sweet spot.
That is what intrigues me.
That is what EVERYONE can relate to.
With that in mind, I am in the process of creating a new Medium publication — Mundane Alley — dedicated to what most consider boring or uninteresting.
All of that combative political discussion and pontification while riveting, doesn’t apply here.
No poetry.
No start-up or technology discussions.
Think of this as a place of rest.
A place for easy reading that at first may appear simple and dull, but take a peek under the covers and you’ll see that is much more than that.
Let me know what you think.
As soon as I have it up and running, I’ll be sure to reach out to many of you who I know can kill in this space.
Here’s a snippet of a story I wrote a few weeks back as a sample. Not many read it, but I don’t care. I fucking loved writing it.
Grats.
The routine
It’s 5:58 AM and I lift one ear off of the pillow to listen for the sound of the shower running. His ass better be up. If three different alarms don’t wake him than we might need to resort to more drastic measures.
Like a rooster on his nightstand.
OK good, he is awake. How do I know this? Because like most 14 year old boys, he has yet to understand the concept of quiet movement. The bathroom door shutting has the neighbors’ dogs barking.
Yay, Monday.
Time to let Mia out of her crate. There is a 97% chance she will do the following:
Jump on the bed to kiss my wife good morning.
Stretch for 13 seconds.
Steal one sock.
Follow me downstairs.
She does all of them on cue.
I make sure my son gets on the bus at 6:44 AM in the pitch black of morning. Poor kid is exhausted and cold.
But a handsome gent.
High School has done him well so far.
My wife gets ready for work. She loves her job. No she doesn’t.
My routine:
Flip the coffee pot switch “on”. I poured the grinds and water in the night before because well, coffee.
Mia goes out and we walk until #2 emerges because if not it is deposited on the dining room floor in the corner where no one will find it for hours.
Wait for coffee maker to produce at least 2 cups of coffee.
Pour coffee for myself and wife. Cheers.
Wake up daughter at 7:30 AM with a cute song that she has hated for 3 years now.
Make wife’s coffee in travel mug.
Start her vehicle and turn on heat. I am a great husband. My wife despises the cold as much as I do. I hope we can some day get a doctor’s note that insists we move to warmer temps so our friends and family won’t hate us.
“It was a prescription people, sorry.” “Come visit some day.”
One big issue this morning.My wife’s keys are missing.
This can’t happen.
We need two operating vehicles for this evening’s festivities.
Ten minutes of panic until I strategically relive the prior day in 17 seconds and flashback to an armful of items carried in from the car. Mia’s harness (required because she is insane) was among the items and that thing absorbs everything in its path. Lollipop sticks, gum wrappers and stinkbugs.
Now add keys to the mix.
My wife leaves for work.
I scour the social networks and email for three minutes to see who wants to pay me for writing. Nothing, huh?
Make that 0 for 2,437.
I check to see how my gnome Instagram photo from yesterday is doing.
51 likes? I still have work to do.
It’s 8:05 AM and time for my shower.
Shower complete and time to choose the wares for the day.
That horrendous button down shirt from ’98 or this polo that is just the right length that I don’t have to tuck it it in and the corporate police won’t complain and I keep a shred of street cred.
It’s polo.
The bus arrives and my daughter is off to school ready to embrace all that is fun with the world. If we can just stay out of her way, she will be fine for life.
I am in my car by 8:33 AM.
