Temporarily 44, Not Forever 21

I was grocery shopping not too long ago when a woman caught my attention. I only saw her from behind but she wore teeny, tiny hot pink shorts that may have been a bathing suit bottom, her hair was so long that it grazed the top of her buttocks and her shoes were heels with no less than a five-inch wedge.

“Wow,” I thought to myself as I went back to picking out apples. “She must be super confident in herself to wear that! And, cold.”

And then she turned around.

It was obvious that this woman was well into her sixties… maybe seventies.

I was momentarily caught off guard. Maybe my jaw dropped open a little.

That incident made me stop for a minute and think about whenever I hobble into Forever 21 in my sensible shoes and cardigan sweater, twenty years over the target demographic; usually to look at the new clothes and see if anything cute catches my eye.

Typically I will catch a glimpse of something on a rack then pull it down only to see it says, “I LOVE BAE!” in sequins. Or “Taco Time!” and a cartoon of a talking taco.

Or I will find a sweater with an interesting pattern then discover it’s a crop top or its missing shoulders.

I always think the kids (yes, kids, they are like twelve) that work in the store are wondering what I, certainly not forever twenty-one more like temporarily forty-four, am doing in there. I wonder if they want to direct me to Ann Taylor Loft, around the corner.

But back to the racks.

I love a good baseball tee, and pulled this one off the rack because I love black and white. Just not with Justin Bieber’s face on it.

Who can’t use a long sleeved black top? But..no. Also,who wants to see a middle aged woman in a crop top announcing she’s hungry and angry? What an endorsement for menopause.

I’d only wear this shirt if I wanted to embarrass my children. I do have a pair of faux leather pants that I like to wear but I see my husband visibly cringe whenever I pull them on. Too much?

It’s a struggle to be middle aged and figure out what to wear in order to look trendy but not like I’m trying too hard. Because on the opposite spectrum of Forever 21 is Chico’s where the clothing features flowy tunics, elastic waist pants, and chunky necklaces. It seems like when you reach a certain age, your choices narrow considerably.

The only problem is that I can’t really figure out if I’m there yet.

I have a friend who is older than me by several years and she’s being dragged into her middle years kicking and screaming. She wears clothes more suitable for a tween and I’ve seen her style her hair in pigtails, her little face is frozen with so much Botox and fillers that she can’t smile without her cheeks looking like they are going to crack.

I’ve also seen grown women wear plastic barrettes in their hair, rompers, overall shorts, tee shirts that say, “No Pants are the Best Pants!” and “Reckless Youth!” along with short, flouncy mini skirts and tights with cat’s faces on them. Yes, I’m being serious, I have seen this.

At this age, I know it’s time to slide from the Xhilaration side of Target over to the Merona side. Upon a quick google search for “clothes for women over 40” I see a lot of slimming jeans, long cardigans, blazers, shirts that require ironing, and low-heeled shoes, which if you have read my feature on Birkenstocks, you know I can stand behind one hundred percent.

When you’re over forty, there is a balance of being stylish and age appropriate versus looking like you wish you were eleven. Somewhere in the late thirties, there’s a fine, murky line where a woman goes from looking cute to looking ridiculous in certain things.

It might be time to let go of your shorty shorts and the top that dips down low and shoes that are going to give your feet bunions and the purse that’s a big Hello Kitty face.

My friend drew this! So perfectly illustrates the old woman trying to look young in clothes that are better suited to a twenty-two-year-old. You have a lot of options when you’re in your early twenties. Enjoy that time because it comes and goes like a tornado.

This is Iris Apfel. She’s an older lady who dresses in a cool, quirky fashion and is true to herself, completely unique but she’s not dressing like she’s twenty. Or even thirty. Or forty.

She’s age-appropriate and awesome, proving that you can have a serious style game as you age but don’t have to wear clothes that announce you’re with bae or that you love tacos.