The song that put the knife in the Hair Metal era

And threw me right into the arms of Nirvana.

When I was a young boy
They said you’re only gettin’ older
But how was I to know then
That they’d be cryin’ on my shoulder

If you know the lyrics to this song, you’re awesome. That, and this post will hit home for you.

That was Cinderella’s “Somebody Save Me” by the way.

My formative years coincided beautifully with the Hair Metal movement. I am 44 years old and spent my tweens and teens listening to nothing but “hair metal”. And when I say “hair metal”, I’m not talking about the glam bands of the 70’s like the New York Dolls. Just so we are on the same page, here are some of the the bands I consider to be “hair metal”:

Ratt

Cinderella

Motley Crue

Tesla

Bon Jovi

Poison

Warrant

Dokken

You can argue for others to be included or excluded from the list, but you get the point. Kiss is not a true “hair band”, they were something unique unto themselves. Van Halen was not a “hair band” ever. Too talented and emerged before that scene. Guns and Roses were not categorized by hair, they were sleazy and raw and almost a genre on their own. They were also awesome until Axl broke down, over and over and over again.

I had every Ratt cassette. I knew all of the band members by name. What up Bobby Blotzer? I knew that Mark Slaughter was in the Vinnie Vincent Invasion before he formed Slaughter. I saw Cinderella and Extreme open up in concert for David Lee Roth and sang every song word for word.

I have hair metal cred.

Back in the day I would argue that Motley Crue was more than the hair. This suburban introvert threw up the devil horns from time to time. And the music always held up. Killer guitars. Fast and loud. I still listen to the “Shout at the Devil” album.

Dokken may have written some of the best ballads of all time. At least that is what I would tell the world. Listen to “Alone Again” and tell me differently. Also, “It’s Not Love” is still in regular rotation in our home. My son sings along.

Tesla > Duran Duran. Yes, I had that argument on more than one occasion in high school.

Cinderella had a bluesy feel underneath all of the glam and eventually realized that vision on “Heartbreak Station”. Yes, I just typed that sentence.

Great White looked the part, but they transcended hair metal. They were talented musicians. “Save Your Love” still gives me chills to this day and they covered “Babe I’m Gonna Leave You” better than anyone, ever.

I could even cherry pick songs that were “decent” from both Poison and Warrant. They were better pop songs than some of the crap that was on the radio in 1988.

My point? I carried the flag for the Metal du Hair. I believed in the music, defended the music and even if time has proven me wrong, I loved it. Even if it is now only pure nostalgia.

While it became more and more difficult to sell the quality of “hair metal” as the 90’s arrived, I still tried.

But then one song forced me to throw in the hair metal towel. One song made me squirm in embarrassment. One song actually made me ashamed to call myself a hair metal head. One song had me turning down the volume.

For your viewing and oratory pleasure:

How do you defend this?

I don’t care how high his range is, it is not ear delicious.

I can remember hearing this song for the first time on my way back to college in 1990 and thinking, it may be time to expand my musical horizons. It may be time to stow away those White Lion cassettes.

I literally felt my world change when Milijenko Matijevic hit that “forever” note. The music wasn’t charming any more. The 80’s were done. The excess of the music became cartoonish rather than fun.

Warrant got us close to the edge, and Steelheart pushed us over it.

Right into the opening chords of “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.