Please don’t bite the employees

Things that don’t really happen at work unless you have my job.

They said an employee bit a supervisor. They said it was a harassment claim. They said I had to handle it.

Biting at work. Adults. A disgruntled employee bites their supervisor. Yes. This is my job. This is what I do.

I set up a meeting with the supervisor and supervisors manager. Essentially the facts were that the employee bit the supervisor. No motive known.

I then met with the employee with the manager present. Employee advised that the supervisor had bit the employee several weeks before. Employee stated that the bite was a friendly exchange, no big deal. What? I advised that the company policy did not allow biting at work and that it could be construed as a sign of violence. The employee was written up and counseled about further biting in the workplace.

My life as an actress began a long time ago so I never batted an eye or had to suppress laughter during my discussions with the employee or supervisor. Secretly I love these situations because I have a front seat to incredible entertainment. How can you even make this up?

The discussion with the supervisor went like this:

Me: Supervisor, we understand that you, in fact, bit the employee several weeks ago. Is that true?

Supervisor: Yes, that is true.

Me:. Why did you bite the employee?

Supervisor:. We were just kidding around.

Me:. As a supervisor, you are responsible for setting the tone for your department. Further, if you are biting employees that report to you, the employees may understand that it is ok to bite at work. You cannot bite someone and expect that they may not bite back.

Supervisor: Silence.

Me:. I consider this matter closed, and corrective action will be handled by your manager.

Supervisor: I understand.

Things happen at work that are sometimes unbelievable. At times it can be very entertaining. My poor children, now college-aged, were tortured their entire childhood as a result of what I had to investigate. I was constantly telling them what not to do when they went to work like their mom and dad in adulthood. The biting situation, well, I didn’t have to school them on that. When they were two they grew out of that. This is my job. This is what I do. For some it would be a hellish job, but I consider my work an extension of the entertainment industry.