By Proxy: My Shattered Gypsy Heart
In March 2019 I lost my mom to cancer and it felt like my whole world was crumbling. It was like I couldn’t get out of my own bad thoughts and they were overpowering me.
I was trying with everything in me to hold it together and I desperately needed a distraction. I always had a major interest in true crime cases and I knew that a series called The Act came out in March. It was about the Gypsy Rose Blanchard case. She met a guy named Nicholas Godejohn online and had him murder her mother Dee Dee, and I was somewhat familiar with the case from when it happened. So here I was, a couple of months after my mother passed away and I decided to not only watch The Act but also to dive into anything I could find about the case. I welcomed anything that would keep my mind occupied. I read every article I could find about it and joined a couple of Facebook groups that were for discussing the show and the case. That was the beginning of a roller coaster I never expected to take a ride on.
I loved reading other people’s thoughts on the case and comparing the different ideas and theories that everyone had. Then, one night I was reading posts in one of the groups and I learned that a lady in the group was involved with Gypsy Rose Blanchard’s family and they were working on their own show about the case, which was going to be called By Proxy. By this point I already was a fierce defender of Gypsy. In my eyes, she was 100% a victim of her evil mother and you couldn’t tell me different. Yes, Gypsy Rose did plan for her online love Nicholas Godejohn to brutally murder her mother Dee Dee Blanchard. But, she was abused. But, she was isolated. But, she didn’t know she had other options. But, she needed to escape. But, she had nobody to turn to. But, if she told anyone they wouldn’t believe her. But, if Dee Dee found out she would be punished. The buts went on and on and on. I would go up against anyone who called Gypsy a murderer and defend her with passion.
So, I sent the lady a friend request and a message telling her that I supported what she was doing and would love to help if she needed me. That lady was Fancy Macelli and she messaged me back. We talked for a bit and at the end of that first conversation, I guess you could say I was unofficially a part of the By Proxy team. It wasn’t long before Fancy asked me to officially join the team and of course, I accepted. I started out as a volunteer researcher and spent hours working with the team, going over thousands of pages of medical records that our nurses, led by Titania and Colleen, would break down for us, watching police interviews, reading court documents and helping to put the pieces of the puzzle of Gypsy Rose’s life and Dee Dee’s death, together. I thought that I was getting to know Gypsy Rose’s stepmom Kristy pretty well at the time also. She was part of the team and was always so warm and loving toward all of us. We were always busy and the whole case was emotionally draining but we were making progress and things were slowly coming together. We were starting to see how things happened with a lot more clarity.
During all of this work we were doing, there was also outside chaos to deal with. We had issues with people on social media who didn’t agree with us, who didn’t like what we were doing and who just didn’t like us, period. There was a time when things got to their ugliest and we all considered just saying fuck it and walking away. We decided to stay on the roller coaster even though we were all vomiting over the side by then. For me, I felt like I had put in too much of myself to give up because of some assholes online. As a family, we kept going. We were determined to finish what we started. I never thought at that time that finishing what we started would be the beginning of so much more.
The path we had been on would change here and there, veering a little bit off course when we hit a roadblock, but always getting back on track after a couple of miles. When we finally got the video of Gypsy Rose’s full, unedited police interrogation, we didn’t realize that not only was it going to change our path, it was going to knock us right off the freaking road. The day Fancy sent us that video was the day that everything changed for me. I felt like I had been sucker punched, I couldn’t even speak for a while. My entire opinion of Gypsy Rose, Dee Dee, Kristy and Rod Blanchard as well as Nicholas Godejohn changed after watching it. Our relationship with Kristy also changed even though we weren’t fully aware of that right away.
You see, back when Gypsy and Nick were arrested, the sheriff said that things aren’t always what they seem to be, and with this case never have truer words been spoken. Gypsy Rose Blanchard was not what she seemed to be and I don’t mean that she could walk. With what we learned plus the interrogation video, it was clear that Gypsy had options other than killing her mother, options that she was clearly aware of. She was also aware that a bus was coming and she had no issues with giving Nicholas a forceful push as it approached. I started to see Gypsy for what she is. An adult who was abused as a child and coerced into playing along with her abuser. As an adult though, Gypsy is an intelligent, well spoken young woman who has learned to be a master manipulator just like her mother. Was Gypsy a victim? Absolutely. But so was a child molester who was molested as a child. Do we absolve them of responsibility and forgive what they do to innocent children because they were once victims themselves? No, most people don’t. For me it’s no different for Gypsy. She knew right from wrong and she knew she could get away from Dee Dee if she wanted to. She chose to plot her mother’s murder instead. She’s a young woman with a ton of potential but she needs lots of therapy to process exactly what happened in her life. Unfortunately, she doesn’t think she needs any professional help at all and in my opinion is still focused on finding her fairy tale romance and living happily ever after.
Shortly after we released the interrogation video, the proverbial shit hit the fan and we decided it was time to regroup and go a different route. We would still put out a series about the case somewhere down the line, but we needed to get the facts that we learned out there. We wanted to tell our story as well and it seemed like the perfect time. That’s when The Good Wives were born. We did our entire 1st season of the podcast on the Gypsy Rose Blanchard case and it was a super deep dive. I know that for each of us it was emotional. There were times that the sadness and anger were hard to deal with but keeping the bigger picture in mind helped a lot. Rest assured, we’re not done with Gypsy Rose Blanchard yet because we have so much more to tell you about the case, but the whole team thought it was best to get off that ride for just a little while after we wrapped up season 1 of The Good Wives Guide To True Crime.
We also started our YouTube channel, Murder By Design and began building a network within the True Crime community. When we started working on season 2 of the podcast, we moved on to other cases. We began doing interviews with experts in DNA testing, law enforcement, the legal system and working with people that we’ve admired for years. A few months ago, we started a 2nd podcast; Gone Cold With The Good Wives And Todd Matthews and our goal is to raise awareness of cold cases and missing persons cases. We even participated in CrimeCon: House Arrest last year and it was freaking awesome. I’m so proud of every single member of the team for what we’ve been able to accomplish, especially in 2020 and I’m looking forward to everything we have coming up in 2021. I’ve learned a lot since I first sent Fancy that Facebook message. One lesson I learned is that we want to help people that are going through some of the worst situations you can imagine and that’s not always going to be pretty but it’s always going to be worth it.
Originally published at http://madgingerentertainment.com.
