An Open Letter to Men

An Open Letter to Men

(Obviously ‘Not All Men’, But Most of You)

Dear Men,

Women don’t care about your opinions on their bodies anymore.

Sorry to burst your patriarchal bubble right in your stupid faces, but we don’t. What I care about, is your serious obnoxiousness that tricks you into thinking you have a God-given right to comment on our bodies.

Billie Eilish has been slammed on Twitter for looking like a ‘mid-30s wine mom’ due to a recent image of her wearing a tight, strap top and shorts showing more of her figure compared to her signature baggy jumpers and tracksuits. For some reason, and I partly put this down to porn and social media, idiotic men have been stupidly brainwashed into believing that all women should be skinny, tall, poised and smiling all the time. I’ll let you in to a secret; we’re not. And neither are you.

This year, Adele had been praised on her weight loss and ‘transformation’ to skinny from places such as The Sun and The Daily Mail, which is reiterating the idea to society that skinny equals good. This is down to the idea of The Male Gaze and that women are expected to look good, behave well and be all-round ‘the perfect woman’ yet still, ‘not be like the other girls’ and still ‘one of the lads’. It’s confusing isn’t it? You view us as objects and nothing else.

Billie Eilish has always challenged that idea by not conforming to the stereotypical female celebrity style by choosing to wear baggy clothes (which is rare for female celebrities in the media due to their marketing) and her music style. By using the first opportunity you have to tear her down for her body image, you are conforming to the idea that women are only put on this earth to please men. She has also stated in a previous interview that she wears baggy clothes to prevent others having an opinion on her physical appearance. It’s a shame that she is feeling a need to alter her appearance to avoid harassment and this online trolling is literally proving her point.

Also, by stating that she looks like a ‘mid-30s wine mom’, you are also suggesting that 30-year-old women who drink wine are ugly in comparison. It’s an ‘insult’ to those women also! On top of this, the Bad Guy singer is 18 years old. The man who is claiming that she looks bad is a grown man. What sort of coward hides behind a screen insulting young women for the way they look? Get of Twitter you weird, old sexist.

Before you start screaming at me, I know not aaaaallll men are sexist, (however, the ones who say not all men are usually the worst culprits) but most of you still think it’s okay to cat-call a woman as they walk down the street, make remarks on a woman’s weight or appearance or have unrealistic expectations of a woman’s role in sex due to watching too much porn. Women, myself included, have all experienced sexual harassment their whole life and we are well in our right to generalise ‘all men’ as we literally cannot walk home at night without fear of being attacked. On a night out, I bring my drink to the toilet with me so it doesn’t get spiked. Billie Eilish can’t walk down the street without being body shamed. So, get off your high horses.

There’s a very interesting quote in Florence Given’s award-winning book ‘Women Don’t Owe You Pretty’ (a book which I recommend everyone read), which is “It costs more to be a woman, in the same world where we are paid substantially less than men, and we are tricked into believing that “splitting the bill” is the route to equality?”. By shaming women’s weight, face, appearance, and behaviour you are reiterating the idea that women need to spend money to lose weight, put on more make up, wear nice clothes and be happy in public. It’s so tiring having to appear perfect for men that we don’t even want to attract.

So, next time you feel the need to comment on a young girl’s picture that she also didn’t even know was being taken, take a step back and think — does my opinion count?

Do I sound like an arse hole?

Next time you see a colleague not wearing make-up, don’t ask her if she is tired. That’s her face, you moron.

Next time you see a woman walking down the street at night, don’t call her ‘sexy’ or shout across a street to her. That makes me feel unsafe.

Next time you’re next to a woman on a train, close your goddamn legs and give us some space to sit.

Next time you see a publicity shot of Billie Eilish walking down a street in clothes you aren’t used to seeing, keep scrolling. Or if you really need to say something, perhaps call the photographer and ask them to leave her alone.

Next time you want to be a sexist pig, don’t.

Lots of Love,

Women everywhere.

Words by Jasmine Hodge
@ObviouslyItsJaz

Image taken from: Hypebeast