Out is through…..

So Alanis Morissette in the mid 90’s and early 2000’s wrote some highly emotive lyrics into her music. Lots of anger, resentment, love, sadness and hope. Her song, Out is Through was in the early 2000’s. The song has an important message for me and hopefully for you, ‘The only way out is through…”

I think back over the numerous times I have ignored this statement above. The need for instant relief or at least instant gratification was too strong. We fool ourselves to think we have no other choice. Leave the horrible job, the broken relationship, the country. We fool ourselves that those are the only two options, stay or go.

I have learnt that there are always more than two options. If one has to look closely at the times we choose between stay or go, we usually base the decision selfishly on our flight or fight instinct that lives in the very primitive part of the human brain. Luckily we are evolved beings and have the opportunity to choose with more discernment. The best thing to do is to breathe, slow down, and allow the brain to create and assess some options, no matter how outrageous they may be. You see when faced with only one option it proves to be rather dreadful, two options turns offers a dilemma, but three or more options creates freedom. Freedom to think not only of yourself but also about the others that would be affected by your actions. This could open up options for more long term benefits and less harsh consequences.

We could just walk away and hide our heads in the sand
We could just call it quits, only to start all over again
With somebody else

One of those realistic options could be to ‘Stay’, but now that you have multiple options, the anxiety associated with this option has possibly now dissipated and you are free to realistically assess this option for long term effects and sub-options within this option. Could you possibly learn something that would make you different, could it make you a better human?

I have discovered that if you find yourself at a very important crossroad in life, think seriously about the ‘Stay’ option and what can be learnt; because many times it is a lesson that needs to be learnt. If you do not go ‘through’, the lesson will be re-introduced in the next job, the next relationship, the next country until you decide to work ‘through’ it.

If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got — Henry Ford

Like Henry Fords suggests above…. do something different…. maybe the only way out is through….