Overcoming my fears
I have always been scared of animals. Other than cockroaches.
The current company I work in has a huge office dog…Hopper. He is an 18 month old husky. The first time I saw him, I was a bit surprised and scared. Constantly overlooking my shoulder to see if he was inching towards my desk.
Why was I scared? Growing up, we didn’t really have pets as we were moving around a lot. My parents were not into animals either. I wasn’t very keen on touching other friends’ pets either. I somehow didn’t like the sensation of their skin and their skeleton. I know. This sounds very weird.
As time went on, I slowly started getting used to being around him. So much so that my hands were only an inch away from him. At that point, I thought. I am ready for some pets of my own. And I started to think about cats. Yes, you read that right. Cat(S)! I started researching rescue shelters and looked into cat ages and breeds.
When Covid-19 struck Uk and London we were asked to work from home from 18th March ’20. I hadn’t found any pets by then, and lost hope that i won’t be able to until this lockdown is over. And then, I got a phone call from Celia Hammond Animal Trust. They had changed their process of adoption. Video call to see the home and checked out the property on google maps to ensure I wasn’t near a busy road. I was only allowed to select a pet through pictures. And this is the pair I chose.
Sabrina and Tiffany (now Pepper and Smokey) were brought home on 27th March! I was apprehensive, worried, excited and 1 million other emotions which I cannot describe. I pretty much felt like I was in labour… lol!
I slowly started touching them…one by one. Every day started getting better. They started waiting for me to get up in the morning and would patiently wait for their breakfast. I would tell them off for climbing the curtains, walking on the kitchen counter and eating my plants. They started listening to me. They purr and walk around me when they want to be pet. I cook them fresh food every day. They watch me get dressed. They nap on my bed. They want treats from me. They are spoilt with toys and are now running around in the garden.
The love I have found inside me as a result of having Pepper and Smokey amazes me. I think what this has shown me is that we all can overcome our fears…once we set our hearts to it. I still have more fears inside me. But as I get older, I am realising that resilience is something which can be built easily over time. One needs to first understand what causes those fears to build up and then surface. For me, it was lack of affection for animals as I grew up and the fact that love can mostly be gained from humans only. I have realised over the past 2.5 months, that the unconditional love you get from pets has no bounds. I had bouts of anxiety during lockdown and it eased every time I spoke to my kittens or they came to me with loving eyes (mostly greedy eyes for treats :)). Arranging holidays now, will be difficult, but again, I don’t seem Pepper and Smokey as a burden. They make my home more home-y.
