Great Hacks You Need to Become a Great Hack

Why hello there fellow Internet dweller. Are you as awesome as I am? I doubt it. That’s why I’ve compiled a list of hacks to make you awesome. By following these hacks you will immediately become awesome and write awesome prose. Prose is a fancy word for writing. Remember that. Fancy words are great.

So here we go. Are you ready?

• Fake it
• Always use link bait
• Fake it again
• Always write in lists
• Duplicate items in your lists to pad out your content but reword them slightly (or don’t)
• Fake it a bit more
• Use lots of commas (commas make you awesome)
• Always use a number in your article subject line because that guarantees clicks
• Refer to yourself as an expert
• Mention how much coffee you drink (that shows you mean business)
• Make up statistics to support your point (real statistics are confusing and nobody cares about them anyway)

In conclusion, you are now a hack. Congratulations. Go forth and spread glad tidings of misinformation and ineptitude. And remember, never use irony. It is dangerous and can lead to serious brain confusion.