How not to say “goodbye”
Saying goodbye. It can carry such a weird feeling. We do it every day, really. But it’s with this expectation that it doesn’t really end. It’s more “see ya tomorrow,” “see ya later,” or “talk soon.” Much less, “goodbye forever.”
But as it goes, sometimes we do have to say “goodbye” without the expectation that things will really be the same again.
There’s this line from Kanye’s album Late Registration — back when he was “old Kanye,” — that comes to mind. It’s from the song “Heard ’Em Say” featuring that handsome chap from Maroon 5. It goes:
“They say people in your life are seasons. And anything that happens is for a reason.”
It’s really that first part that can get you all misty.
Rory (my big bro) made this analogy just before his 30th birthday that stuck with me. He said that in life, we have three acts. If you’re lucky, they’re each like 30 years.
Act one is about figuring things out. What are you capable of? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to become? It’s about experimenting. From birth to 30 you should be working toward deciding who or what you want to be. I can get behind that. I’d like to think I’ve kinda figured that out, but maybe I’m just a little slow. Still a work in progress.
Act two is about becoming. Oh yeah, that’s the name of Michelle Obama’s book. I should read that before I give it to moms. Anyways, it’s about leaning into that person you want to be. It’s about really executing on your goals. It’s about action. It’s about sacrifice and prioritizing. It’s when you’ve stopped giving a fuck what other people think (hopefully) and can go all-in on what matters to you.
Act three is about reflecting on all that you’ve done. It’s about sharing. Passing along what you’ve learned. Paying forward your wisdom (if you have any), your hard knocks (if you’ve had any — you better), and your passion to those that have been on the journey along with you and those that will come after you.
Where am I going with all this? Every new year is a new season. Every new job is a new season. Every new big life event — graduation, marriage, moving — is a new season. But when winter in Chicago comes and goes, what remains? The people. And that’s what really what matters. Some people stick in your life, others fade away. And that’s okay.
But you know when you’ve found ones that you’d like to stick around — whatever role they might play in your life. And it doesn’t take very long. I guess it’s why I reserve “talk soon,” for the peeps that stick.
