Tips to Feel Connected

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Believe it or not, but being sad comes with a lot of unexpected benefits, and one of those benefits is that it causes us to desire connections with others, particularly if the sadness is from losing someone1. By connecting with people, we decrease our suicidal ideations and attempts2 and improve our well-being3. Even connecting with nature increases our well-being4, vitality, happiness, and life satisfaction5. Given the importance of being connected, I wanted to give you some tips on how to increase your connectdness:

1. Meditate6: Through mindfulness meditation and loving-kindness meditation, you can improve your connectedness with people and nature. Here is how to do the loving-kindness meditation:

Step 1: think of a happy childhood memory and repeat the following phrases:

‘‘may I be happy,’’

‘‘may I be safe and secure,’’

‘‘may I be healthy and strong,’’ and

‘‘may I be fulfilled.’’

Steps 2–6: repeat the phrases while thinking of a close friend, then a respected person, an acquaintance, a difficult person and finally, and, finally, all living things

‘‘may you be happy,’’

‘‘may you be safe and secure,’’

‘‘may you be healthy and strong,’’ and

‘‘may you be fulfilled.’’

The article had participants do this meditation once a week for six weeks at 15–20 minutes per session. I personally recommend doing this daily, repeating each set of phrases 10 times each for each person.

2. Have Active Hobbies: Connecting with people and having leisure activities are intrinsically linked. The more people you have in your life, the more things you do. Conversely, the more things you do in your life, the more likely you are to connect with people7, but it matters what type of hobbies that you have. Having an active hobby (playing a musical instrument, singing, playing games, etc.) is the best way to attend more social gatherings. The more active activities — activities that require action and cooperation to achieve a common goal — you have, the more likely you are to have social gatherings and close relationships. Passive activites — activities that require watching or listening to something — do not increase social gatherings or close relationships7,8.

1. Feel Gratitude: The more grateful you feel, the more social connectedness you will have, which will improve your perception of your well-being9. I recommend keeping a gratitude journal and writing 10 things every day that you are grateful for, no matter how big or small.
2. Get Counseling: Everyone needs counseling from time to time. Counseling for a brief amount of time can increase your life satisfaction and social connectedness10

1.Gray, Ishii, & Ambady (2011), 2. Marraccini & Brier (2017), 3.Roy, Riley, Sears, & Rula (2018), 4. Pritchard et al., (2019), 5. Capaldi, Dopko, & Zelennski (2014), 6. Aspy & Proeve (2017), 7. see Toepel (2013), 8. (Putnam (2000), 9. Liao & Weng (2018), 10. Blau, DiMino, DeMaria Jr., Beverly, Chessler, and Drennan (2016)