The Solitary Journey of the Spirit
There’s much talk of loneliness in our culture today. A recent poll by the American Psychiatric Association found that 30% of American adults feel lonely once a week, while 10% have that feeling daily. A shocking 30% of Americans aged 18–34 say they have these feelings daily. Many mental health experts point to social media as the main culprit for the rise in lonesomeness in our society. Is social media entirely to blame?
Humans are inherently social beings, deeply rooted in communities that offer support, a sense of belonging, and security. These communities influence our thoughts, values, and ethical frameworks. For a growing number of individuals, social media serves as a continuous link to these connections. The craving for interaction can become so habitual that it escalates into an addiction if not checked. The frequent dopamine surges that social media triggers in our brain’s reward centers are hard to resist. Yet, when we find ourselves detached from our social circles, and the chemical dumps fade, feelings of loneliness emerge.
Loneliness vs. Aloneness
What’s the difference between loneliness and aloneness? Loneliness often stems from an acute sense of emotional isolation, a condition where one feels disconnected and alienated from others. In contrast, aloneness is an entirely different state of being. It is not about being isolated but rather about embracing solitude.
Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, a renowned Tibetan Buddhist teacher, often discussed the concept of aloneness. “Aloneness seems to be the heart of discipline. […] You cannot develop yourself properly unless you give up your need for companionship. Once you give up your search for companionship, you can make friends with your loneliness. At that point, you become a genuine practitioner.”
The idea is that embracing aloneness can be a powerful part of one’s spiritual and personal growth. The journey of self-discovery and embracing one’s own company are essential steps toward enlightenment and inner strength.
The Spiritual Connection of Aloneness
Embarking on a spiritual journey is often romanticized as a quest filled with enlightenment and life-changing epiphany. However, the reality can be starkly different. The path to spiritual growth is not a joyride; it’s a solitary trek that demands courage, commitment, and resilience.
The spiritual path is often whispered about in hushed tones, often shrouded in the allure of tranquility, presented like watered-down Kool-aid or ultimate wisdom. Yet, those who have set foot on this solitary trail know it is anything but sunset beaches or colorful rainbows. It is not a journey for the faint of heart — it demands your all and a little more.
In the tales of Zen tradition, the name Taiso Eka may ring a bell, often linked to the wild tale of his encounter with Bodhidharma, a well-known Buddhist monk. As the story goes, Eka discovered Bodhidharma in deep meditation within his cave home. He stood watchfully at the entrance, hoping the reclusive teacher would welcome him inside and accept him as a student. Time wore on, and a blanket of snow covered the landscape, but still, the monk did not let Eka enter. In an act of sheer determination or desperation — or simply to draw Bodhidharma’s attention — Eka severed his left forearm and threw it into the cave in front of the teacher. The tale goes that without moving, Bodhidharma simply replied, “That’s a start.”
I’m not saying that to begin your journey, you need to stand in deep snow for hours outside a cave or remove a limb, but a sacrifice must be made to start. The beginning of this sacrifice may come from making yourself more vulnerable, shedding unhealthy thinking, or even, I dare say, deleting Insta. However you begin, you must be prepared to give the journey everything, not just your arm but the entirety of your body, heart, and soul.
Here are a few things to consider when you begin your inner journey to find your true self.
Better Not Begin
To the uninitiated, my advice is simple: better not to start. The spiritual path is not a hobby or a pastime. It requires a full-throated commitment that will challenge every fiber of your being. If you must embark, do so with the resolve to endure until the end.
The Haunting of Unfinished Business
If you begin and then abandon your quest, the remnants of what you’ve left undone will haunt you. Like shadows in the rain, they will follow you, whispering of what could have been, a constant reminder of the journey you promised to complete.
Trust in the Heart
Despite the pain, there is an undeniable truth that you must cling to — trust in your heart. The compass of intuition guides you through the darkest nights and the fiercest storms. The small, still voice whispers, “Continue,” even when every fiber of your being screams, “fuck this. Life was easier when it was boring.”
The Penetrating Experience
As you delve deeper, your experiences become too penetrating and too raw. On this path, you won’t find fuzzy puppy dog tails, sunsets on sandy beaches, or colorful rainbows. The process will strip away the facades, exposing your soul to the elements of truth. It is uncomfortable, unnerving, and utterly transformative.
The Escape and the Return
In moments of weakness, you may seek to escape, to return to the comfort of ignorance. But this avoidance is a source of pain, a stark reminder that your path is one of confrontation, not retreat. And this very pain spurs you onward, a paradoxical muse that inspires you to continue.
Setbacks and Suffering
Setbacks and suffering are not mere obstacles; they are integral to the creative process of the path. They mold you, shape you, and, ultimately, forge you into a vessel capable of holding the profound truths of the universe.
The spiritual journey is a path walked alone, a testament to the strength of the human spirit. It is a pilgrimage of self-discovery, where the only validation comes from within. It is not for everyone, but for those who dare, it is the most rewarding of all endeavors.
The Solitary Journey of the Spirit is not merely a path walked in isolation but a testament to the profound strength and resilience of the human soul. It is a pilgrimage through the landscapes of our inner worlds, where we confront the specters of loneliness and learn to embrace the empowering solitude of aloneness.
As we traverse this terrain, we realize that social media, while influential, is not the sole architect of our loneliness. It is but a mirror reflecting our innate desire for connection and the pitfalls of its excess. The true challenge lies in balancing our social instincts with the nourishing quietude of solitude, understanding that both are essential threads in the fabric of our well-being.
“Maybe everything that frightens you is something helpless that needs your love.”
— Andrew H. Housley
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