My Spiritual Journey

Dawn Ulmer
Mustard Seed Sentinel
6 min readFeb 11, 2024

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Where God has led

Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

As far back as I can remember, attending church has always been a part of my life…until now. Let me explain:

My Dad was raised a Baptist and loved singing in the all-boys choir. When he met my Mom and wanted to marry her, he converted to being a Lutheran.

What a change that must have been for him. He went from a small family oriented church to a more formal way to worship God.

Photo by Karl Fredrickson on Unsplash

Thus, when I was small, I found myself with my Dad, standing in a large church sanctuary with towering stained glass windows, asking him if I could sit with him during the service.

“No” was his kindly answer — he thought I was too young to sit long enough for an entire church service. I was disappointed but went off to my own class where I would be with other children.

My next clear memory of that time was at age 8, sitting with my Sunday school teacher, reciting the 23rd Psalm. I’d been working hard in order to memorize and recite it perfectly.

I loved the last verse of that Psalm: “I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” YES, that is what I wanted! I worked hard trying to fit my little life into doing all the good things that would allow me to go to heaven and live with God forever.

To this day, I still have the bookmark I ‘earned’ on the day I was finally able to say Psalm 23 from memory.

The next memory I have is of the pastor from that church taking me to visit a ‘shut in’ with him. I don’t know what I thought I’d be doing. Maybe I’d meet a kindly elderly lady who was filled with loving gentleness and would serve homemade cookies. What I didn’t expect was to have to sit in the pastor’s car while he went inside the house. It seemed like forever to me! I didn’t even have a book to read!

I have a feeling that the pastor asked my Mom if she wanted me to go with him so that she could rest because she was a ‘shut in’ herself.

In the future when I was asked if I wanted to go with the pastor, I said a polite ‘No thank you.”

The next memory was being asked to pray in front of everyone in Children’s Church. When finished praying, my face heated and I was so embarrassed at starting my prayer with “Dear God”. It was a heartfelt prayer but one, I was sure, was NOT acceptable to God or anyone else.

When I was 9, I became curious about the church that was around the corner from my house. I wanted to go there to see what it was all about.

Photo by Josh Eckstein on Unsplash

I don’t have a clue how I ever talked my Baptist-Lutheran parents into allowing me to go off alone to check out another church but off I went, all by myself. To my surprise, I LOVED it. I remember being in the sanctuary which was informal compared to the Lutheran church. I felt so welcomed and within weeks I was invited to sing in the choir.

Instead of choir robes, we wore street clothes and rocked those songs — hymns that I knew but they had a lightness to them there.

Uprooted and transplanted

Photo by John Towner on Unsplash

Fast forward to age 10 and myfamily move to California. Again, it was the Lutheran church for us as I attended with my Dad and siblings. My mother, still a ‘shut in’, stayed home and got Sunday dinner going. Yum, the aromas were delicious as we arrived home from church, changed clothes and sat down together to eat. I digress….

Again. It was a church with a more formal tone, stained glass windows and the message — do the best you can and, hopefully, you will make it to heaven.

When Working My Way to Heaven Began in Earnest

At age 12, it was time for Catechism classes to begin which would lead to Confirmation at age 15.

Working my way to heaven and a place in the church, for the next three years, we were required to attend Catechism class on Wednesday nights followed by Choir practice. We were now expected to sing in the choir on Sunday mornings, robes and all. I did enjoy that! Sunday School was also mandatory. Then on Sunday nights, we were expected to attend Luther League in order to be Confirmed. That made a busy schedule during those three years — for me and for my Dad who had to drive me to church multiple times per week since I was too young to drive. He didn’t mind.

At age 17, I graduated from high school, planning for college and to become a nurse. Was I still trying to earn my way to heaven? Probably.

A Changed Life

When I was 20 and a senior in college, I met someone who shared with me that I could KNOW that I was going to heaven.

He who has the Son [by accepting Him as Lord and Savior] has the life [that is eternal]; I John 5:12 AMP

Salvation came to me in such a simple way. Asking forgiveness for my sins and committing my life to God, I was set free to love and obey God, knowing I would dwell with Him forever! What freedom I felt!

That was a NEW concept for me. In my entire life, I loved God and tried to be as good as possible yet I knew all along that I could never be good enough to be acceptable to a holy God.

Yet, there it was in black and white in scripture — pointing to Jesus who died for ME. If I had been the only person that had ever been created, I realized that Jesus would have come to die in my place, paying for my sins so that I could be forgiven and dwell in heaven forever.

My Life Was Changed Forever

Many years have passed since I was 20 years old with adventures along the way.
Getting married

Being involved in The Jesus Movement

Having two children
Helping run an ambulance company
Homeschooling K-12
Owning and creating an in-home business specializing in creating custom bridal veils and hats
Helping operate Scotts Mill Park

Being a Shepherdess

Having a husband abandon the family after 35 years
Working for a local newspaper as the Office Manager
Writing for a local woman’s magazine and national publications
Became a Project Manager for a design company
Stretching myself in Business Banking for a national bank
Breathing a huge sigh of relief as I retired

I’ve had a full life for which I thank God. Some of the stories I’ve already told, others are yet to tell. Please join me and SUBSCRIBE if you want to read more.

If you want to be added or deleted from my list, please let me know.

Alma Curry Doris Rouse Ken Van Camp Mary Papas Sharon Hillam Greg Smith Jemimah Susie Winfield Haley K Juli 💖 KingGood Lee Byrd Lu Skerdoo Rosa Diaz-Casal Nikita Rayne Johnson Paula Thomas Leslie Flemons

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Dawn Ulmer
Mustard Seed Sentinel

CEO of myself sometimes, retired BS R.N., author of '365 Practical Devotional for Anxious Women' . Enjoys photography and writing!